Out Of The Ruins
by HollyStone73
Summary: Severus Snape survived. The war is over and Voldemort defeated, leaving much to be repaired, the hardest being the emotional wounds of the survivors. The journey will not be easy, especially for Harry & Snape. Is it possible for the two of them to work together despite the history between them? Can an intriguing outsider help bridge the gap between them? (Snape Mentor) (NO SLASH!)
1. Beyond the Veil

**Chapter 1: Beyond The Veil**

Severus Snape opened his eyes slowly and realized immediately that something was wrong. He was no longer at the Shrieking Shack. Exactly where he was, he was quite unsure. He struggled to stand and as he did so he began to recognize his surroundings as a place he once knew a great many years ago. The river bank on which he stood was the very same one that he had escaped to many times whenever he had needed to escape from the madness of his childhood home.

The memories that came flooding back to him threatening to overwhelm him. It was here that he used to meet up with Lily Evans as she tried to help him forget about his father's cruelness. They had spent hours sitting on the banks of the shore while he tried telling her all about the wizarding world. He remembered those times as being the happiest he had ever been.

Out of habit he glanced across the field in the direction that her house had been and was shocked to see Lily walking towards him. It was not, however, the Lily that he had known as a child, but Lily as she was when her life had been taken so cruelly from her.

As he rubbed his eyes hard, he began to understand what was going on. He was dead. Voldemort and Nagini had killed him. The last thing he could remember was Harry appearing at his side. What had he been doing there? He remembered Harry trying to help him, but Snape had known that he was beyond any help. Yet the boy had been willing to try anyway.

Foolish as it had been for Harry to have allowed himself get distracted from the more important task of defeating Voldemort, Snape could not help but marvel at the unmistakable worry and concern that he had seen in those green eyes. Snape shut his eyes hard at this memory. Harry had tried to help him despite his hatred for him and despite everything that Snape had done and what Harry had thought him to be. He knew that he had not deserved this kindness from Harry. For the first time since he had set his eyes upon Harry he realized that he may have been wrong about the boy and that Dumbledore had been right. He had been so determined to hate him because of his old prejudices against his father, that he had failed to see how much more like Lily rather than James, he truly had been.

"Severus."

Snape's eyes snapped open. Lily now stood before him looking just as beautiful as he dared to remember her to be. He found himself not even daring to blink in case she disappeared. "Lily," he whispered. "I'm so sorry."

"Don't please," Lily said quietly. "Albus has already explained everything. I know how much you have suffered every day since then. I know how you struggled and sacrificed to keep Harry safe. If Harry is successful at killing Voldemort for good, it will be because of your help, Severus. You have been there for him when we could not be."

"It is because of me that you could not be there for him. I failed you. And I failed Harry too. I promised Albus that I would keep Harry safe and I could not do that. I made him hate me because I could not see past him being James's son. I couldn't let go of the hate that I felt. I never even gave him a chance." Snape admitted gloomily.

"I can't fault you for that. I know how much James tormented you and I wish I could take it all back. He can admit now that his treatment of you was what helped force you down the dark path that you chose. But, you were strong enough to back yourself out of it, Severus. You were able to see the wrong in what was happening and help in ways no one else could!" Lily insisted.

"But at what cost?! It took you getting killed for me to come to my senses! At that point it was hardly even worth it!" Snape barked painfully. He turned himself away from her to conceal the burning in his eyes.

Lily touched his shoulder. "If it saved you from that evil then it was worth it to me."

"You can't mean that!" he said as he spun to face her once more. "What about Harry? What about the life that was stolen from you?"

"I have come to accept things for what they are, Severus. Everything happened as it should have. There was a purpose for all of it. Yes, all of it," she said at his doubting look. "It's true that I have hated the pain that Harry has been put through, first with my sister and her husband, and then with everything that he has had to face since. But it has made him into such an amazing man that I couldn't wish for anything different for him."

They stood together in silence for a long time while Snape considered her words. He had lost countless hours imagining what we would say if ever he count talk to Lily just one more time, and this was nothing like what he had pictured.

"You have to go back, Sev."

Snape looked up at Lily in alarm. "What do you mean 'Go back'?

"It is not your time yet. You have a life to get living. Hogwarts needs you and Harry needs you," Lily stated.

"Harry hates me. Everyone hates me. Dumbledore saw to that," Snape spat bitterly. "You know that he plans of having Harry killed don't you? That was his plan all along. Harry had no idea. I was kept in the dark right up until it was too late to do anything about it. It was all pointless." The defeat that he was feeling was apparent in his words and the slump of his shoulders.

Lily smiled at him. "You must have faith, Severus. Harry is strong and is capable of so much. I think he will surprise you, and everyone else."

"I don't deserve to go back."

"You do more so than anyone else. You may not believe so, but I can only hope that it is enough, for now, for you to know that I believe that you do. There will be so much healing to be done, Severus, and your strength will be needed. I have to know that Harry will have you there should he need you. It will not be easy for anyone, but I think that the walls that were once built have crumbled leaving open pathways that will lead to a much happier and healthier place," Lily replied.

"I think you have been spending too much time with Albus. You are speaking in riddles," Snape said dryly, but with a small smile. He sighed heavily before saying, "I don't even know how to go back. I think it may be too late."

"No. It's not too late," she said. "You just need to open your eyes."

As Lily continued urging him to open his eyes the world around him disappeared into darkness and she began to sound as though she were walking away down a long tunnel. Snape wanted to call for her and tell her to come back, but could not seem to get his voice to work.

"Open your eyes Severus. Come on now. You need to wake up," said a voice very near to him that was definitely not Lily's voice.

Snape struggled open his eyes and was nearly blinded by the bright lights. He tried closing his eyes against the light, only to be prompted again to keep his eyes open. He turned his head to the side in an attempt to determine who it was that had been speaking to him when he was completely overwhelmed with an excruciating pain. The pain radiated over his body in waves making it hard for him to breathe.

He felt a hand on his shoulder and then someone spoke to him saying, "Drink this. It will help with the pain."

Gratefully Snape quickly gulped down the potion which made him feel almost instantly as if he were being covered by a very warm and heavy blanket. He tried again to open his eyes and looked around coming to the conclusion that he must be at St Mungo's hospital in London.

Further examination led him to discover the source of the voice that had been speaking to him. He was astonished to discover that it was his colleague Minerva McGonagall who was staring down at him looking worried. This confused Snape even further since the last time he had been face-to-face with McGonagall she had attacked him and her absolute hatred and anger were the only emotions she had worn. He closed his eyes once more to hide from her the guilty pain that he felt from the deceptive role he had been asked to play.

"Severus, Harry showed me the memories you gave him," McGonagall said quietly. Snape's eyes snapped open. "There was so much I didn't know…I wish that you could have said something…Or Albus…Oh dear. I'm afraid I don't even know where to start," she said as if not able to form a complete sentence. "I do owe you some pretty serious apologies. I was so angry with you that when Aberforth had told me that he had found you and brought you here I wanted to curse him for not just letting you die. It was only at Harry's insistence in your innocence that I found out the truth."

Snape tried to speak to her only to find that no sound was coming out of his mouth. He looked at McGonagall helplessly.

"Your vocal cords were damaged. Healer Prewett has been mending them, but insisted on putting a silencing charm on your while she worked," she explained patiently.

Snape sighed in frustration. He looked at her and very carefully mouthed the word that he been trying to get out.

"Harry?" she asked in clarification. Snape nodded. "Harry is just fine. Well more than fine actually. He did it. Voldemort is dead. Harry went to face him in the forest and when Voldemort used the Avada Kedavra on him, he only succeeded in destroying the part of himself and not Harry." McGonagall shook her head. "I can only hope that Albus expected this when he set him on this task. That he knew Voldemort would be unable to kill him," she finished quietly.

Snape found himself stunned and fighting against a burning in his eyes. It was really over? Voldemort was gone AND Harry survived? It was all almost too good to be true. He wondered for a moment it perhaps he was still dreaming and unconscious. The twinges of pain as he tried to move made him dismiss that line of thinking quickly.

"Harry wanted to come here and see for himself that you were going to be all right, but I insisted that he stay and get some food and some rest. But I imagine that I will not be able to keep him away for long. Are you going to be okay with him visiting?" McGonagall asked.

Snape thought for a long moment about this before responding. He knew that he was going to have to sit down and talk with Harry eventually, but he was not sure he wanted to do so in a busy hospital ward. Not that he could even talk right now anyway. Snape shrugged his shoulders and then nodded painfully.

McGonagall smiled and patted him arm. "I understand. I don't think he's expecting much more from you than just knowing that you are going to be okay. He seemed pretty certain that you were dead and was pretty torn up about it." She sighed heavily and then said. "Healer Prewett has insisted that you will need to remain here on the ward for about a bit in order to heal properly. She said that she was able to get most of the venom out of your body, but said that she wants to be sure that it is all gone before closing your wounds up properly. In case your body requires more time to heal and expel any remaining venom. But she has assured me that Hogwarts will have its headmaster back as soon as possible."

Snape painfully shook his head. There was no way that he wanted to continue as headmaster. It was not a post that he ever rightfully should have held.

"No? No what?" she asked.

Snape tried pointing at her in an attempt to say that she should take over as head, but dropped his arm in frustration as she failed to understand.

"It's no bother right now. Save your strength and we will have plenty of time to discuss everything once you are better. I just needed to come to see that you were indeed going to be all right, and to let you know that you are completely forgiven for everything that we all were led to misunderstand. I do need to get back to Hogwarts now, however. Things are a complete mess and we are still trying to sort out who and what we have lost." McGonagall said as her voice caught in her throat.

Snape patted her hand and mouthed a thank you before she stood with a smile and walked away. He then allowed the exhaustion to sweep over him as he relaxed into his pillows and fell back to sleep.


	2. Late Night Visitor

**Chapter 2: Late Night Visitor**

When Harry Potter woke it took him several minutes to remember where he was and what all had happened the previous night and day. The comforting sight of the familiar maroon bed curtains surrounding him brought him back to Gryffindor tower quickly. The sun was not yet up and he wondered just how long he had been sleeping.

It had taken Harry a very long time to unwind after the events of the past 48 hours or so. After finding Hermione and Ron in the aftermath of the battle, he had just wanted to escape to the tower and sleep for days, but he still had people that he knew he needed to see.

One of the first people that he sought out had been Professor McGonagall. He had felt like he needed to tell her the truth about Professor Snape. He had thought that clearing his name was the very least that he needed to do in honor of the incredible bravery he had displayed in carrying out the actions that he had done that had been instrumental in bringing down Voldemort.

Harry had been shocked, of course, to learn that Professor Snape had not died as he had originally believed. Professor McGonagall had withheld from him the exact details of how Snape had been rescued, largely due he had guessed, to the small crowd of students and professors that had been in close proximity to where they had been standing. She had indeed assured him that he was alive and was currently recovering at St Mungo's hospital. The intense relief that this news had brought him very nearly overwhelmed him.

It had not been easy for him to convince Professor McGonagall of Snape's innocence. It was only after they had taken another trip to the pensieve, and he witnessed the tears that she had been unable to hold back did he know that she finally understood all that she had just seen. He was most embarrassed when she embraced him so tightly and cried on his shoulder. She crooned on and on about how proud she was of him and how brave he had been. It was only when she heard Harry yawn loudly that she released him and ordered him to get some rest.

He barely remembered much of his journey up to Gryffindor tower, but was enormously happy to see that food had been set out for him in the common room. He quickly devoured a full plate of food, and was joined shortly thereafter by Hermione, who looked just as tired as he felt. Ron had remained with his family in the Great Hall, and she explained that she had felt like an intruder as they tried to deal with the loss of Fred.

The two of them sat and talked for hours about everything except for the events that had occurred in the past twenty-four hours. It wasn't until it was nearly dinner time that they finally started acknowledging the exhaustion that had been threatening to overtake them. They had exchanged hugs before they both retreated to their separate dorms for some much needed sleep. It had been mere seconds before Harry was very deeply asleep.

Harry cautiously pulled back his bed curtains and was surprised to see that he was no longer the only sleeping person in the room. The complete darkness made it nearly impossible to determine who was there with him. With a quietly muttered "Lumos" he easily identified Neville Longbottom, Dean Thomas, Seamus Finnagan, and Ron and George Weasley all sleeping quite soundly.

A quick check of his watch told Harry that it was shortly after two o'clock in the morning. He pondered the idea of summoning Kreacher, and asking him for a bite to eat before deciding that what he really needed right now more than food was more sleep.

* * *

Snape was awoken from a dreamless sleep by a woman dressed in the St. Mungo's lime green robes typical of those that were usually worn by healers. He carefully studied the woman as he worked to wake himself up fully. This woman had a heart shaped face with perfectly proportioned features, pale porcelain like skin, and jet black hair that framed her face. The most striking feature of this woman was her eyes that were sliver-grey speckled with the brightest blue flecks. She was, Snape decided, rather attractive in am unusual kind of way.

She held out a stone cup filled with a warm, neon yellow liquid in it. "This is the anti-venom. While I am mostly certain that I was able to remove most of the venom myself, I would feel more comfortable if you completed this treatment as well. Just as a precaution. I brewed enough for two more doses."

Snape took the cup and drank it down and was somewhat surprised by the subtle citrus taste of the potion. "It takes much better than I would have imagined," he muttered.

The woman grinned sheepishly. "I try to add some muggle food flavorings with my potions to make them easier to swallow. It's something I started doing when I was working on a children's ward after having one too many potions spat back into my face due to the vile tastes of many potions."

Snape scowled and looked down at the potion citically. "How can you know that the muggle ingredients won't interfere with the potency of the potions?" he asked skeptically.

The healers smile faded immediately. "I guess we'll just have to wait and see just how effective it is then. You'd best just hope that I was truly successful at removing the venom and that the anti-venom would just not be needed," she stated coldly.

Snape stared up at the woman in complete confusion. Why had this woman that he barely knew seemed to have taken such offense at his asking a simple question? Unable to resist using legilimency he searched through her eyes to the memories she held on the surface of her mind. He was utterly astounded to see an image of a much younger version of himself sitting alone in the Slytherin common room.

"Have we met before?" he asked casually, trying to hide from her that he had just read her thoughts.

"Hmpf," she said. "Of course you wouldn't remember me." She rolled her eyes and sighed deeply before saying, "I'm Alexis Prewett. I was at Hogwarts with you. I was three years behind you, but I would have thought that you would have some memory of me. I was the butt of many jokes, pranks and mean taunts thanks to a horrible stuttering problem, great social awkwardness and overall general weirdness."

"I paid no attention to any of the petty dramas that plagued my fellow schoolmates, so I have absolutely no memory of any of this at all. Surely you can't hold against me the slights of others," he scoffed.

"Yes. That would be most unfair of me to blame you for the thoughtlessness of others. I should think instead that I would judge you solely by the cruelness of your own actions," she replied coolly.

"What do you mean?"

"I am talking about the way you treated me in my first year at Hogwarts." She retorted. "Shortly before the Christmas holiday, I found myself struggling in potions. It had been recommended to me by Professor Slughorn that I ask you for a bit of tutoring since he had deemed you the best in your year. It took me almost a week or so to work up the courage to finally ask you for help." She paused a moment as if remembering. "When I finally did ask you I was most astonished by your reply. You had said, 'Why would I waste my time on a silly little girl who is never going to amount to anything significant in this world?' I guess I shouldn't have been too surprised by your reaction since I probably would have gotten worse from other fellow snakes. I guess I had just expected you to have been above all the others since you had yet to have engaged in the silliness that others had resorted to in belittling me," she finished bitterly.

Snape sat in stunned silence for a long moment as he tried to remember this incident she was referring to. The more that he thought about the more he realized that he could not even recall ever hearing her name before. He did not want to believe that he had been so cruel to someone when asked for help, but he could not forget that he had been in a very dark place at that time of his life and much of the rest of his time as a student at Hogwarts.

"I must apologize for insulting you so. I do regret a great many things from my time as a young wizard. I fear that there will never be enough time left for me to make retributions to all I have wounded," Snape said quietly. "I am most aggrieved that I made such a harsh judgment against you since, as I understand, it is solely because of your expertise and diligent care that I am even alive."

Healer Prewett stood staring at him most unsure at how to proceed. She was angry with herself for confronting him with petty childhood dramas especially since she had vowed to herself that she would not stoop to that level, and yet it was the first thing she did when he finally could talk. His heartfelt apology, however, was not something she had ever expected from this man that she once had been sure did not even have a heart.

She studied him carefully for another few minutes before saying, "The Minister of Magic, or shall I say the temporary Minister of Magic, wished for me to summon him as soon as you were awake and coherent. I did not want to do so until I first spoke to you and made sure that you were comfortable with the idea of him visiting."

"Who is the temporary minister," he asked hesitantly.

"Kingsley Shacklebolt."

"I do not have any concerns about him visiting," Snape said.

"Very well then I will summon him," she said with a little bow as she left his bedside and headed off the ward.

He sat back against his pillows and tried to push aside his thoughts and worries about Healer Prewett to try to mentally prepare himself for Shacklebolt's visit. He could hardly imagine that any reasons he may have for visiting him, especially as Minister of Magic could be anything positive.

Thankfully, it was only a matter of minutes before her heard Healer Prewett saying in a stern voice at the entrance to the ward, "Do remember Minister, as long as Severus is here on this ward, he is MY responsibility and I will not allow you to upset him in anyway. Do you understand?"

Snape could not help but feel a twinge of guilt as he heard Prewett confront the minister on his behalf, especially knowing that she had every right to hate him and not care if he was upset by this visit. Of course, he reasoned with himself, her concern for his emotional state was most likely nothing more than professional worries about his general health and well-being that she would have bestowed upon any of her patients. Whatever the reasons for her concern he had to admit that he was grateful.

When Kingsley Shacklebolt finally approached Snape's bed his expression was completely unreadable. "How are you feeling, Severus?"

"Surprisingly well, considering," he replied conversationally.

"I am told that you are quite lucky to be alive," Shacklebolt said.

Snape nodded. "I, unfortunately, am not yet aware of any specifics as to how I came to be here, but I was told by Minerva that I owe my rescue to Aberforth and my recovery thus far to the diligent care of Healer Prewett."

Shacklebolt stepped closer to the bed and knelt down beside in, bringing himself down so that he was eye-to-eye with Snape. "Is what I have heard from Minerva true? Did Albus truly ask you to kill him?"

Snape sighed before answering and wondered how many more times he would be forced to retell his story. "Albus was already dying thanks to an unfortunate incident with a cursed ring. When he had heard of a plot to have him killed, he asked that I be the one to kill him which would inevitably give Voldemort the impression that I remained his faithful servant allowing me to remain in the know about his whereabouts and his plans. It was also understood between Albus and myself that the empty position of Headmaster that would open by his death would be offered to me, by Voldemort which would allow me to protect the school as best I could." He chose not to include any mention of the elder wand at this time since he was not sure what, or if, he currently was aware of regarding it.

Shacklebolt grabbed Snape's hand and held it firmly and exclaimed, "I cannot tell you how truly relieved I am to know this Severus. I did not…no…could not believe that you would honestly betray Albus like that. Even knowing what little I know about your past affiliations as a death eater, I could not forget all of Albus's assurances and insistences that we all trust you and bear to believe that he could have been so wrong." He let go of his hand and stood up as Healer Prewett returned to the ward. "I want to be sure that you know that you will have the full support and backing of the ministry when you are well enough again to return to your post as Headmaster of Hogwarts."

"I don't want to be headmaster. That honor should have gone to Minerva. She had been Deputy Headmistress under Albus. I would be more than happy to return to my position as Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher and Head of Slytherin House," Snape replied automatically.

"Well…If you are certain that is what you want I am sure that could be arranged," Shacklebolt stated hesitantly.

"I am quite certain. I served my purpose as headmaster and I am more than ready to be finished with it," he insisted as he let his head fall back onto the pillow and closed his eyes.

"That, Minister, is my clue that it is now time for me to insist that my patient now be left alone to rest. Although I am sure that you would be more than welcome to come back in the morning if you should still need to talk with him," Healer Prewett cut-in from behind the Minister.

Shacklebolt bowed deeply to the healer. "Certainly ma'm. Thank you for contacting me and letting me come at such an inconvenient time in the morning."

Snape watched Healer Prewett lead Shacklebolt away from his bed and towards the doorway that led off of the ward, and then allowed himself once more to drift off to sleep.


	3. Unintentional Catharsis

**Chapter 3 - Unintentional Catharsis**

By the time that Alexis Prewett had been able to escape to her office she had been on the verge of collapsing. She managed to sleep for a few hours in the uncomfortable cot that she had conjured up, before she was woken by a knocking at her office door.

"Excuse me, ma'am," said the young orderly through the closed door. "I know that you asked to not be disturbed, but the reception witch downstairs called to say that Harry Potter was requesting to be allowed to see Mr. Snape."

Alexis, still struggling to pull herself out of her sleepy fog said, "Ok. Thank you. I will ask Severus if he is feeling up to visitors and then head down to escort Mr. Potter up myself."

The increased security measures that had been implemented after Rufus Scrimgeour had been killed, required everyone that visited the hospital be vetted and escorted by a Healer to assure the safety of the patients in the hospital wards.

Alexis attempted to freshen herself up a bit before heading down but quickly decided that it useless and gave up. She left her office and headed down the hall the patient's ward. She was beginning to think that she should have given her patient his own private room, since he was already attracting a lot of attention from an impressive collection of visitors. First had been the Minister of Magic and now the famous, Harry Potter, himself. She had to admit, if only to herself, that she was becoming extremely curious about the reasoning behind these visits.

When she had arrived at Snape's bedside she was almost relieved to find that he was sleeping quite soundly. His sleep thus far had been fitful and had appeared to have been plagued with nightmares that caused him to toss and turn and mumble incoherently. She let out a sigh as she decided that she would need to inform Mr. Potter that he would need to come back at a later time. Snape appeared to be sleeping peacefully for a change and she had no desire to bother him. Not even for the boy hero himself.

Alexis was deep in thought as she waited for the lift to take her to the ground floor. Immediately upon stepping out of the lift she knew that something unusual was happening. The reception area was extremely crowded and very loud. She could not help but notice that the majority of the crowd was focused at someone or something near the welcome witch's desk.

As she pushed her way through the crowd, she was nearly blinded by the flash bulbs of several cameras. Blinking her eyes against the spots the flashes had created that was now clouding her vision, she was able to realize that the crowd that had gathered was there in hopes of catching a glimpse of Snape's famous visitor, Harry Potter.

When she reached the reception desk someone roughly grabbed her arms, "Please tell me that you are here to take him out of here, Lexi. These people are causing such chaos that patients needing to check in can't even get through!" the welcome witch shrieked desperately.

Alexis patted her arm reassuringly and pushed her way to the front of the crowd. She recognized Harry immediately and was somewhat surprised to see that he appeared to be trying to hide behind his two friends that were flanking him protectively on either side of him. The female with the bushy ponytail looked somewhat lost and frightened. The boy of Harry's other side was a tall stalwart boy that she recognized as a regular visitor to the hospital. She remembered seeing him several times shortly after she had gotten here on the Long Term Spell Damage ward. He looked as though he was ready and able to fight back the crowd if needed. Actually, judging by the many cuts and bruises that all three of them were covered with, they all looked rather intimidating even disregarding the battle worn glazes they wore. Harry, himself, was staring out into the crowd with a dazed look on his face as people shouted questions at him which his friends seemed to be answering instead of himself.

"Was Professor Snape your favorite teacher in school?" shouted an unseen person from the back of the crowd.

"Are you planning on returning to Hogwart's to complete your N.E.W.T.s?" yelled another.

"What spell did you use to kill Voldemort?"

"What do you have to say to the families of your fellow students that were killed because of you while you were battling 'you-know-who'?"

The questions were being shouted out at rapid fire from witches and wizards in every direction. Alexis noticed that Harry continued starring out into the crowd with the same shell-shocked, pained look on his face as his friends continued to deflect the questions for him. Sometimes they would answer the questions for him, other times just speaking quietly to Harry before answering and completely ignoring other questions all together.

Alexis stepped forward through the last few gawkers and turned to face the crowd. "I think it is past time for everyone to return to minding their own businesses and allow Mr. Potter and his friends to do the same," she said loudly.

Her announcement was met many with many grumbles and groans, but she was pleased to see people beginning to disperse and head to their seats in the waiting area, towards the entrance doors and head off to wait for the lifts.

Harry looked up at Alexis and said in a low, unsteady voice, "Thanks."

The haunted look that she was met with when this boy had looked up at her made her instantly change her mind about just sending the boy away to come back at a later time as she had originally planned to have done. She felt a strange obligation to at least sit down with him and hear what he needed to say. She almost felt as though she would be willing to sacrifice Snape's sleep being disturbed if seeing him would help ease the cares that Harry seemed to be weighed down with.

"Mr. Potter, I am Alexis Prewett. I have been caring for your Professor Snape since he was brought in. Would you care to accompany me to my office so we can talk and I can try to answer what questions I can? I'm sure you would feel more comfortable somewhere where you won't have to worry about being harassed by anymore of your admirers." She finished with a small smile.

Harry hesitated for a moment as he looked at his friends as if asking them what he should do.

"You go on, Harry. I am going to go visit with my parents for a bit," the boy said.

"I can wait for you here, Harry. I'd expect that Professor Snape would not be too thrilled with having all of us come barging in on him," the girl said reassuringly.

"Thanks, guys. I will see you both in a little bit," Harry said as he turned to follow Alexis to the lifts.

Neither of them spoke until the doors of the lift had closed in front of them. Alexis broke the silence by saying, "Your friends were not as eager to learn about your professor's condition as you?"

"Well…Neville has always been afraid of Professor Snape. Although I think he was able to overcome most of those fears this year. Hermione has always disliked Snape because of how he treated me and other Gryffindors," Harry explained simply.

"So you are saying that he did not treat you kindly?"

"Definitely not, ma'am," Harry said emphatically. "Professor Snape hates me. He has hated me since the first time that he had laid eyes on me."

"Goodness! May I be so bold, then, to inquire why you are here visiting a man that hates you?" Alexis questioned suspiciously.

"You can ask, but I am afraid that I don't really have much of an answer for you," he replied. "I guess I just need to see for myself that he is really going to be ok."

Alexis thought about this quietly as the two of them stepped off the life and she lead them down the darkened, vacated hallway and into her office.

"Please, have a seat," gesturing towards the old, but comfortable looking couch. She crossed the office and sat down in her black leather office chair. Once Harry had settled himself on the couch she said, "Please tell me something. Why is it so important for you to know that your professor is ok if you are certain that he hates you?"

Harry sighed. "Mostly because I recently found out that he wasn't the person that I had originally believed him to be." He paused for a long moment as if lost in thought. When he spoke again his face wore such a pained expression that it caused Alexis to feel a shooting pain not unlike how she would have imagined a spike being driven through her heart would feel. "I don't even know what to think or feel anymore, honestly. Everything just seems so backwards now."

For once in her life, Alexis felt as though she was at a complete loss at how to help this shattered boy sitting in front of her. Since she had been very young she had always been able to sense the feelings of others around her. Often she even had the unfortunate problem of absorbing the feelings of others causing those feelings to become her own. It had taken large amounts of self-discipline to block out those feelings from invading her mind. Now with the intense feelings that the boy was projecting she was having difficulty maintaining her mental wall. She had never known anyone to have such deep feelings of anguish and despair. The pain that this boy was wrestling with would push any healthy, sane person completely over the edge.

As she struggled to regain control of her emotions she found herself becoming increasingly angry. Was it possible that Severus Snape was the cause of all this pain? She pushed her anger aside and took several deep breaths.

"I must ask, is Professor Snape responsible for your disturbed confusion?"

"I guess I could say that he was. But he also managed to answer a lot of questions that no one else could give me the answers to. Now, however, I am faced with the guilt about how I treated him and things that I accused him of." He began to fidget nervously. "But how was I supposed to know the truth about anything he had done and what he had been dealing with? Especially since everyone is STILL trying so hard to keep me in the dark about everything?!" his voice rising into a yell.

Alexis grew even more confused. When Harry spoke of Snape he radiated feelings admiration and guilt, not anger like she would have expected. Maybe it wasn't Snape that had caused the pain that this boy struggled with.

While she knew that Harry had come to her because of his concern for Snape and not a counseling session she felt that she just couldn't let him leave her office feeling the way that he was. She closed her eyes and cast a silent mood stabilizing spell on him. As she opened her eyes she could almost see the tension being released from him. His shoulders dropped a bit and he appeared to relax into the couch.

Harry looked up at her in surprise. "What did you do to me?"

She smiled as she spoke softly to him. "It was just a simple mood charm. You were so tense and trying to juggle so many emotions that I thought that you could use to relax for a bit."

"Oh. Thanks." Harry said with a small nod. "It has been a rough couple of days."

"From what I hear it has been more than a rough couple of days. More like a rough couple of years." When Harry did not respond she changed the subject. "So…what was it that you wanted to know about Snape?"

"Um…well…I mostly just needed to know that he is going to be ok." Harry mumbled.

"He is going to be just fine. It was very lucky for him that he was found when he was, before the venom was able to spread," she said reassuringly.

Harry stared down at the floor and mumbled, "No thanks to me. I just left him there to die."

"Excuse me? What do you mean?" she asked.

"I was there. I saw Snape get attacked and I did nothing. I didn't try to stop Voldemort or Nagini from attacking him. I just kept on hiding like a coward. By the time that I went to Snape, after Voldemort had left with his little pet, he had seemed like he was beyond all help." Harry began trembling all over and his began to sound unsteady as he continued to speak. "Not that I could have given him any help anyway since I never thought to learn even the simplest of healing spells." His voice was now growing into a more hysterical scream. "So what did I do instead?! I took his memories and then just left him there to die! I left him in that cold and dark place to die completely alone! I never even thought of trying to get him any help! It is all my fault that he is even here at all!" he finished as he began to sob uncontrollably.

Alexis, grabbing a box of tissues off of her desk, moved from her chair to sit next to him on the couch. She handed him the box of tissues and began rubbing his back sympathetically letting him cry it out for several moments.

When Harry began to show signs of calming down, Alexis finally said, "You are being incredibly unfair to yourself, Harry. First and foremost, allow me to say this, there was no way that any simple healing spell would have helped Severus. If a healing spell would have used and had been successful at closing the wounds, it would have killed him for sure. The venom would have spread throughout his body his body much quicker without the open wound for the venom to be expelled through. Even now that I am most certain that the venom has been removed from his body I have refrained from closing the wounds as a precaution."

"I didn't know that," he said quietly as he visibly tried to regain his composure.

"What do you honestly think would have happened if you had shown yourself and tried to stop Voldemort from hurting Severus?" she pressed.

Harry shook his head violently not wanting to answer.

"Ok," she said deciding to change tactics. "Tell me this. How is it that you were able to defeat the darkest and most evil wizard in this century when wizards much more practiced and wiser than yourself could not?"

He looked up at her for several long minutes contemplating his answer. He hadn't told many people the real story about Voldemort's defeat, but figured that the story would get out eventually. "Voldemort could not have been destroyed, because he had created several horcruxes. Anyone that would have tried to kill him without first destroying those horcruxes, and didn't end up getting killed themselves, would only have succeeded in destroying his body like what had been done when he tried killing me as a baby."

Alexis felt like she had been punched in the gut. While she certainly could not claim to have an extensive amount of knowledge about horcruxes, she knew enough to know how they were made and that they were among the darkest objects that could be created. She shivered involuntarily, before asking, "So…When you had seen Snape being attacked, had you already destroyed the horcruxes?"

"No," he muttered.

"I am also going to guess that you did not advertise this information about how to destroy him to many other people?"

Another shake of his head.

"So if you had revealed yourself and had tried to help Severus, you would not have been able to kill him and it is quite possible that you could have even gotten killed yourself in the process?" she asked softly.

Harry shrugged his shoulders, not trusting himself to speak or look at Alexis.

"I can't pretend to know how you are feeling right now, Harry, given everything that you have been through. I do know that these things that you are feeling are very normal for anyone that has experienced a traumatic situation. You have been living in state of fear and high alert for such a long time that it may be rather strange or even difficult for you to unwind and calm down at first. You will need to give yourself some time to work everything out. What you don't need right now is to add more pressure and responsibility onto yourself especially for things that you had absolutely no control over," she finished soothingly.

"I just can't stop thinking about it. I keep seeing him lying there. I have never seen him looking so helpless. Even when I hated him the most, he always seemed so strong and I never thought that he could be afraid of anything. Looking at him lying there I could only think that if HE was defeated than I had absolutely no chance of surviving. Then when I took his memories to the pensieve and saw the truth behind who he really had been and the things that he had done I felt so much worse. I wanted to just have the chance to go back and tell him that I was sorry for everything; sorry for what my dad and Sirius had put him through, for blaming him and hating him, for not believing Dumbledore about him…So many things," he muttered quietly. "But now that I know he's alive and I'm here and can actually speak to him I am too scared to do so."

"What is it that you are afraid will happen if you tell him these things?" she prompted.

"I dunno. That he wouldn't believe me, maybe, or that he would just tell me how foolish and stupid I am for being so weak."

"Do you think that he is going to be angry with you for not doing more to save him?" she asked softly.

Harry's eyes began to fill up with tears and he nodded hesitantly.

Alexis sighed and said, "And what if he is angry with you? What if he had expected you to have saved him? What could you possibly do about it now?

"Nothing," he replied looking taken aback.

"If you could go back and do things again, would you change anything about what you did?" she asked.

"No," he whispered.

"Then who cares about his anger? If he is unable or unwilling to understand, then that will be his issue that he would need to overcome. Not yours. You have enough of your own life to sort through and deal with without trying to fix someone else's problems. Right?" she said simply.

At this Harry could not help but smile. "I think I like that way of thinking."

Alexis stood and indicated that Harry should do the same. "Come with me. He was sleeping the last time I checked on him, but I think it would do you some good to see with your own eyes that he is alive and well."

She escorted Harry out of her office and down the hall. They passed a few closed office doors and a waiting room that had a person sleeping rather awkwardly in an uncomfortable looking waiting room. When they reached the double doors of the ward, Harry paused and looked up Alexis timidly. Without a word she gently pushed open the door and led him onto the ward.

She led Harry down the row of beds that were tightly packed together and looked very cramped together. Seeing the curious expression that Harry wore as he glanced around she said, "They had to add a number of beds to all of the units last year when things started getting very bad over here. I'm actually hoping that everything will start calming down here now so that I can return back to the States," she whispered softly to not wake the sleeping patients.

Harry gave her a confused look. "The states? So you aren't from here? You don't sound like an American."

Alexis laughed. "No. I was born here and even went to school here at Hogwarts. I made the decision after my N.E.W.T.S. to continue my education at a muggle university. So I moved to the States, much to the dismay of my parents I must add, got a muggle degree and then started working at a wizarding hospital in New York City."

"What made you want to study at a muggle university?" he asked curiously.

Alexis thought for a moment before replying. She was not sure that he needed to know how much of an outsider she had often felt at that age and if she was being honest, often still felt. Instead she said quietly, "There were a lot of reasons, but most of them are too complicated to explain right now. Let's just say that I thought that it would be silly for me to only have skills that would only be useful in the magical world. I thought it would be wiser to have a backup career available."

"Is that something that I should be worried about?" he asked with a hint of worry in his voice.

"I'm thinking you are all set. I daresay that the wizarding world will never allow you to disappear," she said with another small smile.

Harry looked as though he had wanted to say something, but was distracted when Alexis stopped at the last bed in the row. The curtain was drawn around it and Alexis gestured for him to come closer and have a look behind the curtain.

He approached cautiously and when he reached the side of the bed he stood staring at the man in silence for several long moments. Finally he heaved a big sigh and turned to face Alexis. "Thank you. For everything."

Alexis nodded and said, "It's no problem, really. I'm just glad to be able to do anything to help. And please, if you should need it, please feel free to seek me out if you need someone to talk to in the future. I would be more than happy to meet with you anytime you need."

Harry thanked her and assured her that he would keep her offer in mind, shook her hand and then walked away off the ward.

Alexis stared at her sleeping patient for a few moments before whispering, "You are definitely proving to be quite the little mystery, Severus. I don't know if I am supposed to keep on hating the person that you were or begin admiring the person that you have become."

Snape did not respond, but just shifted in his sleep, completely unaware of the internal struggle that his caretaker was struggling with.


	4. Troubled Sentiments

_**Authors note: Just a mini disclaimer...I want to make it perfectly plain that my depictions of the emotional/mental battles Harry & Snape are dealing with, are by no means, an attempt by me to make them appear weak or inferior in any way. They only depict shadows of very real cases of combat related post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), survivors guilt & combat stress reactions that I have seen and worked with in the (my) muggle world. The material may represent sensitive material if you are struggling or know anyone else that may be working through similar issues.**_

* * *

**Chapter 4 - Troubled Sentiments**

It was nearly lunch time by the time that Snape finally awoke. He was quite relieved to find himself in much less pain than he had been in before. He was even surprised to find that he was hungry.

As he struggled to sit up in bed Alexis entered the ward and hurried over to help him. "How nice to see you waking up finally," she said with a smile.

Snape merely looked at her as he finished adjusting himself in a more comfortable position. "How long will it be before I can leave?"

Healer Prewett stopped to look at him and said, "You, of course, are not being held here against your will and are free to leave whenever you should wish. I would, however, highly recommend that you remain for at least one more night. I would feel more comfortable keeping your wounds open a bit longer before you leave."

Snape truly did not wish to remain here any longer. There were so many things that he had to tend to. He knew that Minerva was most likely overwhelmed back at the school and he felt that he needed to be there to help. At the same time he knew that he would not be any help at all if he needed to keep changing bandages and/or constantly drink healing potions.

"I will stay until tomorrow morning," he resigned. "I really must be getting on my way after that."

"Good," she replied looking somewhat relieved. As she carefully began checking on his wounds she casually said, "You had another visitor this morning."

"Really?" He could not imagine who else would even be bothered to visit him that had not already come. "Who?"

"Harry Potter was here, very early this morning I might add."

Snape knew that he should not have been surprised by this since Minerva had told him that Harry had already wanted to come visit him.

"I have to admit that the boy is much different in person than how he is portrayed by the 'Prophet', she continued conversationally.

"Of course he it! Nothing that ridiculous excuse of a paper can ever be taken serious," Snape snapped. He almost shocked himself by the strong feelings of protectiveness that he was suddenly feeling. "Did he say what it was that he wanted?" He added quickly before he dwelled too long on those odd feelings.

"He was, for reasons quite beyond my comprehension, worried about you. Even as absolute as he in thinking that you despise him, the weight of the guilt that he carries threatens to destroy him," she said quietly without looking at Snape.

Snape snorted. "Guilt? What could he possibly be feeling any guilt about?! He accomplished the impossible and saved the world. What else is there that he could possibly need," he spat.

"You truly are an ignorant bastard!" Alexis hissed. She turned from his bed to walk away causing Snape to quickly grab her wrist to stop her. "Let me go," she said menacingly.

Snape let go of her wrist and said softly, "Don't go. Please. I'm sorry." He waited to be sure that she was not going to leave before continuing. "I cannot pretend to begin to understand the inner workings of Mr. Potter's mind, but I am at quite a loss at the reasons he may be harboring any feelings of guilt for accomplishing what no one else could do. I did not mean to come off so hostile and for that I am sorry," he finished as he stared up at her.

She appeared to consider his words for a few long moments as she searched into the depths of his eyes for signs of his sincerity. When she finally spoke she wore on her face an expression of trepidation and uncertainty. "I know that I should not be speaking to you about this at all, but I cannot seem to be able to restrain myself from doing do. I need to know, were you aware that Mr. Potter witnessed the attack against you?"

"I remember him appearing at my side after Voldemort had left, but I had no way of knowing how he had gotten there or for how long he had been there, nor did I have any time to dwell on such matters. I knew that I did not have much time left and there were very important things that needed to be passed along to Potter," he replied.

"What things?" she asked.

"Things that would explain to him why things have happened the way they did. Answers to things that he has been asking for years," he mumbled.

"Were these things about you?" she pressed.

"Yes. About me. And things that Dumbledore had wished for me to pass along to him."

"You wanted him to understand you didn't you? Not to hate you as thoroughly as he is convinced that you hate him," she whispered as she stepped closer to his bed. "Why? What did it matter to you how he felt if you thought you were dying?"

Snape found that he was unable to answer this question. The truth was that he did not know why he had wanted Harry to know the truth about him. He wanted to think that it had been for the sake of Lily's memory, but he was sure that was only a very small part of it. Perhaps Dumbledore had been right in suggesting that he had come to care about Harry. That he could not bear for him to think that he was truly an evil person.

When he did not respond to Alexis's question she said softly, "The guilt that Harry is struggling with is because of you." Snape snapped his eyes from where he had been staring to look at her in surprise. "He saw you being attacked and felt that he should have done something to stop Voldemort from hurting you."

"But that's absurd! Not only would he have gotten himself killed, but his friends Miss Granger and Mr. Weasley that had been with him as well!" Snape exclaimed.

"This has been explained to him, but it failed to ease his pain. He did not know that you could have been saved and this greatly increases the weight of his guilt. He has been mentally beating himself up for not being able to save you in some way. Or at the very least have thought to have gotten you to someone that could have helped instead of just left you to die," she replied.

"But how is this in any way my fault?! What am I supposed to do about this?" He paused and heaved a deep sigh. "I am sure that these feeling of guilt he has will fade away once he remembers how much he hates me," he mumbled.

Alexis took a step closer to him and placed her hand on his shoulder. He closed his eyes fighting the surge of emotions brought on by her simple gesture of affection. He struggled hard to not reveal the depth of his conflicting feelings that were brewing and threatening to overwhelm him.

"I am not trying to blame you for what he is feeling, Severus. I am only trying to get you to understand what it is that he is struggling with right now in hopes that when you two finally do come face-to-face again you can hopefully be a bit less confrontational with him. I am truly starting to believe that asking you to be compassionate with him may just be too much to ask from you; so the least I can hope for is for you to not jump down his throat. Whether or not you, or anyone else wishes to acknowledge it, Harry is still in so many ways, barely an adult. He has sacrificed so much of his young life and has had to deal with so much more than anyone could ever imagine. The worst of it all is that he has had to do it all so completely alone," she finished quietly.

"Which funny enough, is almost entirely all my fault," Snape admitted under his breath.

Alexis sighed heavily and turned to walk away. "Ugh! I quit! Now you really are just trying to be difficult! There is no way that his misfortunes are in any way your fault. Not unless you told Voldemort to kill his parents, then brought him back to life after everyone thought him to be destroyed and then forced Harry to seek him out to destroy him again! I knew I shouldn't have even bothered trying to talk to you!"

Snape had no desire to argue with her so, he so chose not to respond to her rant. As he watched her storm away off the ward he could not help but think that maybe he should have explained himself more thoroughly to her. But then he thought better of it. While it was not normally in his nature to back down from a heated discussion, he found that he was rather unwilling to reveal to this woman just how right she had been in her sarcastic accusations towards him. Or even admit out loud that he was almost more responsible for the unfortunate events that had tortured Harry for the majority of his life than even Voldemort himself had been.

* * *

When Harry, Hermione and Neville arrived back at Hogwart's, he was surprised to find that the castle was a flurry of activity. There was a large gathering of witches and wizards standing in and around the entrance hall. Many of them Harry recognized as either Order members or fellow students, but there were still a great deal of them that he did not know at all.

"What's going on?" Harry asked as he approached several of his classmates that were standing close to the door.

"Professor McGonagall is trying to organize clean-up and rebuilding," said Dean Thomas. "I'm off with Seamus here to see how much damage has been done in the dungeons and the kitchens. I'm not sure what else she needs help with, but I'm sure that she will have something for you guys to do if you want to help."

"Of course we want to help," Neville said immediately as both Harry and Hermione nodded their agreements.

"Why are you guys still here?" Harry asked. "I would have figured that all the students would have been sent home already."

"Oh, well the Hogwart's Express is coming tomorrow to get everyone. They had wanted it here yesterday, but it took them longer than expected to round up all of the crew. Apparently most of them went into hiding after the Christmas holiday when the death eaters attacked the train and abducted Luna," Seamus stated. "A lot of parents have already come and picked their kids up themselves and many more used the Floo since it has finally been opened back up. The rest of those that are left have been staying at the Inn in Hogsmeade, which has been serving as an emergency shelter for those that did not or could not stay here at the castle like we are. Aberforth has closed the Hogs Head to his regular crowd turning the place into a dining hall for the students until they can be sent home."

"Oh, Harry! There's McGonagall! Let's go ask her what we can do to help. Excuse us guys," Hermione exclaimed.

When the three of them approached Professor McGonagall, she was a bit busy studying a long rolled up scroll and muttering to herself, to even take notice of them being there. When she looked up she almost seemed shocked to see them there. "Oh goodness! What can I do for you three?"

"We want to help, Professor. What can we do?" Neville asked.

She looked hard at them and shook her head. "No, no. You three do not need to do anything more. You have already done so much for everyone that you can't possibly think that we expect you to do more."

"Please ma'am. We really want to help. We'd all just go crazy sitting here doing nothing all day," Hermione pleaded.

"Very well then," she resigned with a sigh. "What we really need done before much else can be done, is to have the grounds checked to be sure that there are no more bodies anywhere. I do not believe anyone has done that yet," she said as she read off her scroll. Then as if she just realized who she was talking to she added quickly, "Of course if that is not something that you feel ready to handle right now, I can find you something less morbid!"

"It's no problem at all, Professor. Honest," Harry reassured her. He thought the idea of getting out of the castle and out into some fresh air was a perfect idea.

With a nod from McGonagall they walked back out of the front doors as the rest of the volunteers began dispersing to their assigned tasks. Hermione, not surprisingly, took command of their little task force.

"I think that we should split up. We can cover more ground that way," she stated. "Neville, why don't you head around towards the greenhouses; Harry, you can go out towards the Quidditch pitch and I'll head around towards Hagrid's house."

"Great. If any of us finds anything we should just come right back and find McGonagall or someone to help us out with it," Neville suggested.

"Excellent," Hermione said. "Let's get going."

The three of them went off in their own direction. Harry, who had greatly appreciated his friends' company on his visit to St Mungo's, found that he was relieved to be alone with his thoughts now. He hadn't spoken to either of them about his visit except to say that Professor Snape was sleeping, but was looking well enough. He definitely had said nothing about his conversation with Healer Prewett.

Unfortunately, as much as he really did not want to, he really couldn't keep from feeling responsible for Snape's attack. Unfortunately Snape's injuries were not the only ones that he was feeling guilty for. He felt ultimately responsible for everyone that had been wounded or killed in the battle here at Hogwarts. He knew now that he should have simply snuck in and out of the castle, quietly getting the diadem and leaving immediately thereafter. His presence at the castle was the sole reason that it had been attacked and that was something that he was never going to be able to forget.

Harry wandered along across the lawn deep in thought when he suddenly became incredibly cold. He stopped dead in his tracks and began searching for the dementors that he was certain were the cause of the sudden and intense chill. Harry took a small step backwards as he scanned the skies, only to find the air return to its previous temperature. He tentatively stepped forward again to find that the cold had indeed returned.

He closed his eyes in an attempt to calm the panic that was rising up inside of him and saw in his mind, the brilliant flash of a blinding green light and heard a strangled cry of terror.

Harry drew his wand as he opened his eyes to see nothing but the quiet deserted grounds once more. He soon found himself becoming very short of breath and began rapidly trying to take deep breaths to alleviate the feeling. The breathless feeling soon gave way to a near suffocating pressure in his chest that further prevented him from being able to breath in proper full breaths of air.

Gasping for breath, Harry dropped to his knees beginning to fear that he was having a heart attack. Even as the thought hit him though, he knew that he was entirely too young and healthy to be having a heart attack. He slowly worked to clear his mind and he forced himself to take slow deep breaths. As he did do, he began slowly feeling better. He waited until he was sure that the feelings had subsided completely before standing up once more.

Unsure about what had just happened, his first thought was to make his way straight up to Dumbledore's office and ask him. Almost immediately though, he realized that not only would he never be able to ask for help from Dumbledore, Sirius and his parents, but now he could add Lupin to the list of mentors/guardians that he had lost forever. The loneliness that was now consuming him made him wonder if maybe he should have just gone off with Dumbledore when Voldemort had hit him with the killing curse in the forest. He had, after all, already told Neville about Nagini, plus Ron and Hermione had known about it. They would have been able to defeat Voldemort just as easily as he had. There had been nothing special about what he had done to defeat him that one of the three of them couldn't have done.

Shaking his head as if to rid himself of such thoughts, Harry forced himself to continue his search of the grounds. As he continued to walk he encountered several more of the mysterious cold spots, but he did not allow himself to investigate them for fear of repeating the strange episode that he had just repeated. Several times as he passed through the spots he thought that he had heard angry or scared echoes of screams.

He quickly finished his inspection of the grounds, feeling grateful that he had not found anyone that had been left behind and returned back to the castle to meet up with Hermione and Neville, who had not been as lucky with their searches. Hermione had discovered a giant that had seemingly suffered a pretty brutal death, she suspected Grawp must've had something to do with it based on the extent of the injuries, and Neville encountered an unknown death eater that he guessed had met up with one of Aargog, the acromantula's, relatives.

After they had notified Professor Flitwick about the casualties that they had discovered they were dismissed and told to head to the Great Hall for some lunch. Harry, deciding that he was not hungry, went back to Gryffindor tower, with intentions to try to make sense of the events of his day.

Once he was back in the familiar common room settled into his favorite chair by the cold fireplace, he was quickly overcome with the weariness that was no doubt a direct result of the emotional morning that he had already had. He fell into a fitful sleep almost at once that was plagued with disturbing images of faceless witches and wizards moments before their untimely and sometimes gruesome deaths.


	5. Editorial Uncertainties

**Chapter 5 - Editorial Uncertainties**

Severus Snape was up early the next morning and immediately requested to see Healer Prewett so that he could be discharged. When she arrived, Alexis did a full diagnostic check on Snape by scanning her wand over the length of his body. Finding his body free from venom she removed the remaining bandages and closed up the last of his wounds.

"Looks like you are all set, Severus. Now that I have closed up those wounds I would recommend a blood replenishing potion as soon as you can get your hands on some. Until you do I recommend trying to take it easy. You've lost a significant amount of blood and it is likely that you will still be feeling weak and light-headed for some time," she advised.

Alexis stood back from the bed as Snape brought himself up to a sitting position. She handed him his discharge papers, waited for him to sign them and then handed him a folded copy of the morning edition of the _Daily Prophet_ along with his copies of his paperwork.

Snape scowled and attempted to hand the paper back to her. "Thanks, but I make it a point to not read the rubbish they print in the _Prophet_."

"I think you need to read that," she said with a small smile. "Take care of yourself, Severus. It was good to see you again."

"I owe you my life. I know that I did not deserve such kindness from you, but I do appreciate it all the same," he mumbled quietly. "I do hope to see you around once things slow down here for you," he said with a timid hopefulness that surprised him.

"Oh. Well…I am actually expecting to be leaving here soon. I've been working at a hospital in the States for the past few years. I wouldn't have ever thought of coming back here at all if it hadn't been for the letters I had received from Albus Dumbledore pleading for me to return and help out. I guess he had known what was coming and figured that they would need some help here. How he even knew how to find me there I have no idea," she mused out-loud. "Anyway…I guess he had been killed shortly before I arrived, so I never got to speak to him about it all. It seems like it was all just yesterday," she remembered with a sigh.

Snape was quite surprised to find that Dumbledore had been involved in St. Mungo's issues. Was there nothing that old coot hadn't meddled with?

"Well then, good luck on your travels then. I am sure that your loss here will be felt by all. Good day to you Healer Prewett," he said with a small bow, suddenly wanting to make a quick depature. He hurried off the ward and down the hall to the lift.

It was not until he had reached the lobby that he had noticed he was still holding the copy of the _Daily Prophet_ that Alexis had given him. He unfolded it and was astonished to see a picture of himself on the front page. It was one that had been taken when he had taken over the Headmaster post at the beginning of the year. Next to his picture was another picture of a battered looking Harry Potter and Neville Longbottom.

**_Bravest Man I Know: Severus Snape  
By: Rita Skeeter_**

_We managed to catch up to the "Chosen One" himself at St. Mungo's hospital as he took time out of his busy schedule to visit the wounded Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and his former Potions Master and Defense Against the Dark Arts professor, Severus Snape. Professor Snape had assumed the Headmaster position even amongst rumors that it had been at his own hand directly that had been responsible for the death of the previous headmaster Albus Dumbledore. Despite the dark history surrounding Professor Snape and his past connections with "He-Who-Will-Not-Be-Named" and his past affiliations as an assumed death eater, Mr. Potter was highly protective of his former teacher. While he would not give justification for his defense he did say, "Severus Snape is the bravest man I know. Nothing that I did could have been accomplished without Professor Snape's help, all of which was given with no regard to his own safety and well-being."_

_A fellow student and close friend of Harry Potter, Neville Longbottom, who had attended Hogwarts School this previous year under Snape's direction as headmaster and whom had fought along-side Potter at the Battle of Hogwarts, was also quick to praise the former servant to the Dark Lord by saying, "Professor Snape put himself in precarious positions several times throughout the school year in an attempt to keep students, like myself, safe from serious harm at the hands of the Carrows. I have no doubt that he was acting against 'You-Know-Whos' orders by trying to protect us and would have paid dearly if he had been discovered doing so._"

_Harry and his friends refused to offer any further details concerning Headmaster Snape, likely out of concerns for his safety, but this reporter will remain diligently on the case and bring updates as they are discovered._

Snape stood staring dumbfounded at the paper in his hand for several long minutes after he had finished reading. He felt like he had just fallen straight into the middle of a strange dream and was trying to play catch-up to understand what was going on.

'The Bravest Man' he knows? He struggled to understand. No one had ever called him brave, nor did he think that it was a title that he felt he deserved. Especially not from Harry or even Neville, whom he had developed an unexpected amount of respect for, throughout the past year as he watched him defy the Carrows and himself, proving himself as a daring, if not sometimes foolish, leader and inspiration to his fellow students.

As he struggled to come to terms with the enormity of the situation he found himself feeling somewhat dizzy and he to grab the back of a waiting room chair to steady himself.

"Are you alright, sir?" asked the welcome witch.

"Huh?" Snape asked looking around. "Oh. Yes. I am quite fine, thank you."

Not wanting to draw more attention to himself he steadied himself, stood up straight and walked out of the hospital and out onto the busy sidewalk outside. He hurried down the street and into a deserted alleyway where he disapperated with a 'pop' that was barely heard by the commuters rushing along the sidewalk beyond.

* * *

Harry fussed with his dress robes for what could have been the twentieth time as he waited for Hermione to join him in the common room. He did not realize how much weight he had lost as a result of his being on the run for nearly a year with often only scraps of food to eat.

After what had felt like hours, Hermione finally emerged from the girls dormitory and made her way down the stairs. She looked somewhat flustered and her eyes looked as though they were already red and weary from crying.

"Come on," Harry insisted. "We have to hurry now or we are going to be late."

"I'm sorry it took me so long. This is the only dress I had and it is the one I wore to Bill and Fleur's wedding. I couldn't possibly wear lilac to a funeral so I have been trying to charm it to make it black. I am not sure that I got it quite right, though. I'm terrified it will change back in the middle of the funeral!" she worried.

"Honest, Hermione, I'm sure they aren't going to care what you are wearing. They are just going to be glad that you are there," Harry insisted.

"Of course. I'm sorry. You are right. I guess I am just anxious that's all. Let's get downstairs," she said.

It had been a rather quiet morning in the castle. Professor McGonagall had chosen to put the clean-up and repair tasks on hold for the day, first to allow the remaining students to catch the train home, and then to attend the first of many funerals that would soon be happening.

Arthur Weasley had come to Hogwarts the previous evening to personally invite everyone to The Burrow for Fred's funeral followed by a luncheon picnic. Nearly all of the professors were planning on attending, except for the bare minimum that were needed to stay behind to help keep the castle secure. The ministry had opened up the Floo network in the Great Hall to allow everyone to travel directly to the Burrow.

When they reached the Great Hall, Harry was completely stunned to see that Professor Snape was among the people gathered by the fireplace. He stopped short unexpectedly upon entering the doorway causing Hermione to walk straight into him.

"Oh!" she exclaimed. "What is it, Harry?" She looked in the direction that he was fixated in and understood immediately. "Come on. It's okay," she urged.

He collected himself and walked over to where the group was gathered. He risked a glance at Snape and noticed that he looked paler than he usually did, but otherwise perfectly healthy. He was wearing his usual stern expression and did not seem to be interested in any of the idle chatter that his co-workers were engaging in.

"Mr. Potter, Ms. Granger, I am surprised to see the two of you still here," Professor Flitwick proclaimed as they approached. "I would have thought that you both would have gone home this morning with the rest of your classmates."

"I will be heading out soon, sir," Hermione began. "Before we set out last year, I had sent my folks into hiding and changed their memories so that they could be kept safe. Once things settle down a bit, I will be off to find them."

"That was very insightful, Ms Granger. I trust you are well aware of how to reverse the 'obliviate charm'?" Hermione nodded. "What about you, Mr. Potter? I am sure you are anxious to be getting on with things."

Harry froze. He had no idea how to answer that question. What was he was supposed to do with his life now? He had no home to go to, he hadn't been able to take his NEWTs so there were no career options available to him in the wizarding world and he had no plans at all to fall back on. He had nothing. Nothing. The walls seemed to start closing in around him and he could feel his chest beginning to get tighter as he struggled to concentrate on breathing.

Just when Harry thought that he was going to lose complete control he heard the silky voice that he had once always dreaded hearing, come to his rescue.

"Perhaps, at the present time, Mr. Potter is more interested in taking a much need time-out after being on the run for the past year, Filius. What better place for him to rest peacefully and hope to escape from the attentions of the wizarding world than here at Hogwarts," Snape said. "Besides, I have a feeling that getting this place," he continued with a wave of his hand, "back into a condition that would warrant it's classification as an educational institution will require more help than we could hope to expect. Which would make Mr. Potter's continued presence an advantageous asset to us. I'm sure that he could be persuaded to assist us in our clean-up efforts."

"Of course, Professor. I would be more than happy to help," Harry said as he shot Snape a look that he hoped conveyed the depth of his gratitude.

Snape gave him a curious look and when he was sure that Flitwick's attention was properly diverted he gave Harry a small nod of his head and turned to bring out the stone bowl full of Floo Powder. One-by-one everyone began stepping into the green flames in the fireplace and shouted, "The Burrow."

Harry worked his way to the end of the queue, wanting to try to have a quick word with Snape before he left. There were so many things that needed to be said, but he knew that this was not the time nor the place for any of them.

All too soon, Harry found himself alone with Snape. His mind raced as he tried to find the words that he needed to say. Finally he looked up at him and said, "Thank you. For everything. Thank you."

Snape looked down at him knowingly and said, "Your friends need you right now, Potter. There will be time enough for everything else later."

Harry nodded and stepped into the fireplace. As he threw down the powder and shouted out his destination, he wished he was able to read what it was that was hidden behind Snape's carefully controlled expression and those haunted black eyes that were studying him so carefully as he vanished from the room.


	6. Grave Disturbances

**Chapter 6 - Grave Disturbances**

Harry felt nothing but awkward and out of place almost immediately after his arrival from Hogwarts. He had been greeted warmly by Ron & Ginny who had immediately brought him out into the garden to meet up with the rest of the family before they all headed to the small graveyard in the village of Ottery St. Catchpole. He had been hugged, cried on and fussed over by all of them and was told that he and Hermione were to sit with the rest of the family for the ceremony. They had tried insisting that they did not need to intrude on their grieving and had no problems sitting with the rest of the guests, but Molly & Arthur had insisted.

"You both are a part of this family, dears, and should sit with us as any other member of the family would," had said.

While Harry had been deeply moved by the meaningful gesture, he was sure that he would have been much more at ease, not having to have had a front row seat to witness the depths of their despair that they would struggle with throughout the ceremony. Percy and George seemed to have been taking it all the worst, though Harry suspected that Mrs. Weasley was trying extra hard to hold herself together for the sake of the family.

Ginny quietly told Harry that Percy blamed himself for Fred's death and for that matter every slight problem or issue that the family encountered. He was driving everyone insane trying to be extra helpful to everyone with everything even when help was not needed or wanted. If was as if, he was trying to make up for or erase from everyone's memories that he had abandoned the family for so long or compensate for Fred's absence from the family. It was, as Ginny proclaimed, driving everyone completely insane.

George, on the other hand, was the person that Ginny had been most concerned with. Since the family had returned home to the Burrow, George had barely spoken to anyone, barely eaten much of anything and had straight out refused to return to his flat over the joke shop. The few times that he had emerged from his room to be with the family he did nothing but stare off into space with a distant, vacant expression on his face.

Fred's funeral had been a beautiful, but somber event. There had been attempts by the whole Weasley family to keep the event as light-hearted as possible since they were sure that would have been the way that Fred would have wanted it, but all of the attempts at humor or fun were noticeably forced and fake.

The event had been widely attended by an extraordinary amount of people which was not overly surprising since both twins were so popular and well-liked. Harry had been astonished, however, to have seen Draco Malfoy lurking just close enough to have been able to hear what was being said, but far enough away from the main body of mourners to avoid attracting unwanted attention. Harry met eyes with Draco once causing him to shake his head fearfully and give a pleading look, which was interpreted by Harry, as him wanting to remain unnoticed. Somehow seeing Draco there looking so wounded made the whole event that much more heartbreaking for Harry. He knew that Draco had often laughed along with the twins' many stunts during their reign at Hogwarts, but seeing him here paying his respects was evidence to Harry at how much of an impact they must have had on him.

Immediately following the service was a picnic luncheon at The Burrow which was attended by fewer people, mostly intimate friends and family of which there were still quite a few. Harry could not help but notice that George had isolated himself from everyone by wandering through the garden kicking at the gnomes. Harry contemplated going over to try to talk to him until saw Angelina Johnson heading that way. Angelina stayed close to George for the rest of the day talking quietly with him. Harry was even relieved to see George sharing several small smiles with her.

Harry remained at The Burrow for several hours, but found himself alone for the majority of the afternoon. Molly and Arthur had spent the majority of the day making their rounds receiving condolences and visiting with friends and family members. Ron spent the day at Hermione's side deeply engrossed in each other. Ginny, whom Harry had hoped to have been able to spend quality time visiting with, had spent the day, accompanied by Fleur, busy with various hostess duties that would have normally been tended to by her mother.

He had done his best to steer clear of most of the rest of the guests by sitting at a table as far away from the others as possible and keeping his head down. Unfortunately his attempt to dodge the attentions of everyone was not entirely successful. Several people had approached him throughout the afternoon to congratulate and thank him for defeating Voldemort. He tried to be polite and accept their praises, but found that each person that approached him had done nothing but further chisel out the great hole that had begun forming in his heart since Sirius had been killed.

It had been after one such encounter with an unknown ministry wizard that worked with Arthur, when Harry decided that he needed to get away from everyone before he was forced to endure more undue praise. He said his quick goodbyes to the members of the Weasley family that he could find. Only after promising to visit again very soon he was allowed to escape by Floo Network back to Hogwarts.

He had been glad to find that the Great Hall was empty upon his return. His first instinct had been to head directly back up to Gryffindor tower, but found that the afternoon had caused him to feel rather restless and decided to take a walk around the castle instead. He soon found himself wandering aimlessly throughout the castle completely absorbed in his troubled thoughts.

He could not understand how everyone could shower him with gratitude and praise, when in reality it was ultimately his fault that things had gotten as bad as they had. Didn't these people understand that if he could have defeated Voldemort sooner he could have saved possibly hundreds of lives? If only he had not gotten distracted by the mystery of the Hallows and had stayed focused on the Horcruxes he may have just been able to finish it all so much sooner. How was he supposed to face the families of those that had been killed because of him? What could he possibly say to any of them to help ease their pain?

As Harry wandered he soon found himself up on the seventh floor just outside of the Room of Requirement. There was a gentle breeze blowing down the hall from the open hole in the side of the castle. He walked up to the hole and stared out unseeingly into the darkening grounds, still lost in thought.

He looked down at the rubble that was strewn about at his feet and was astonished to see several brightly wrapped pieces of what could only be candies. He took a step forward further into the debris pile to investigate further when he found himself surrounded by the now familiar extreme sense of cold that he had felt throughout the previous day on his walk around the grounds. He knew that he should step away from this spot, but he found that the echo of voices that he was now hearing was keeping him rooted to the spot.

_"You actually are joking, Perce! I don't think I've heard you joke since you were-"_ ******

Harry felt like he had been transported back in time as he heard the walls exploding in and debris was raining down on him all over. He could almost hear Percy's screams of agonized despair, shock and horror. The smell of burnt magical objects and dusty debris burned his nose.

He forced himself to step back out of the cold spot as he tried to keep himself under control. His breathing was becoming rapid and shallow and he could feel the weight on his chest pressing down on him. He stumbled backwards and tried to steady himself against the wall.

He tried to focus on breathing, but found that his mind was haunted by images of not only Fred, but Lupin, Tonks, Colin Creevey, Dobby, Dumbledore and even Sirius. All of them had died because of him, while he remained completely unharmed. It should have been him that died, not anyone of them. All of them had so much more to live for than he did, so why was it that he was still alive and they were not?

The pain in his chest was now almost unbearable. He was panting fast and began to feel dizzy. He closed his eyes and slumped over sideways. He felt his whole body shaking uncontrollably and was sweating profusely despite the cool air blowing in from outside.

When the surprisingly strong, but awkwardly gentle hands reached out and grabbed him by the shoulders and Harry knew not to fight against them as they pulled him back up into a sitting position.

"Potter," Snape said. "Open your eyes, Potter."

Harry forced his eyes open and saw the familiar black eyes staring at him intently. Imagining what Snape must be thinking about finding him like this was only making it harder for him to fill his lungs with air.

"Slow down. Take deep breaths." Snape urged. When Harry failed to comply he said, "Look at me, Potter."

Harry could feel him probing into his mind, but did not have the energy to try to resist his efforts. Snape did not linger long in his memories, and if he had been shocked by what he had seen he never let it show. He just continued trying to continue to persuade Harry to breathe and relax as he continued holding him upright by his shoulders.

The nausea snuck up on Harry so quickly that he barely had time to turn his head to avoid hitting Snape as he expelled the contents of his stomach onto the stone floor. Snape continued to support Harry until he was sure that he was finished vomiting. Releasing him with one hand, Snape reached inside his robes and brought out a handkerchief and handed it to Harry. Unfortunately Harry was trembling so bad that he could barely grab the cloth from his hand.

"Ok, Potter. That's enough. You need to listen to me," Snape said quietly. "The only person you are punishing is yourself and I do not think that any of your friends would want to see you like this."

Harry shook his head. He didn't want to think about any of them seeing him like this, but he still couldn't seem to catch his breath. He was becoming so dizzy that he feared that he might pass out.

"Look at me."

Harry raised his eyes slowly almost afraid of what he would see.

"Clear your mind and take a long, slow deep breath. Come on. You can do it, Harry," he insisted.

The sound of Snape calling him by his first name for the first time in his memory surprised him so much that it ignited something in him that caused him to finally be able to focus on the instructions that he was being given.

Within several moments he was relieved to find that his breathing had resumed its normal rate, the pressure in his chest had loosened and he was no longer shaking so fiercely. Relief washed over him as he closed his eyes and allowed him head to fall back against the wall.

"Better?" Snape asked.

Harry nodded. "Thank you, sir. I don't know why this keeps happening to me," he said feeling somewhat ashamed by his weakness.

Snape said nothing, but helped him to his feet steadied him and then indicated that Harry should walk with him. They walked in silence for a few minutes, before the loud angry rumbling of Harry's stomach caught Snape's attention.

"Have you eaten super yet?" he inquired.

"No sir. I did eat some lunch at The Burrow, but I'm afraid that there isn't much left in my stomach anymore," he muttered.

"Very well. Why don't you go and get yourself cleaned up and then meet me in Dumbledore's…I mean my office. I'll have some food brought up for us. I think it is time that you and I talked."

Harry nodded, turned and walked away from his professor as he gulped down a wave of irrational anxiety that was suddenly threatened to overwhelm him. He had hoped to have more time to work through the things that he had wanted to say to him, to formulate the many questions that were swimming around in his head and to prepare himself for the awful truths that he feared he would never be ready to comprehend or understand properly. He could only hope that finally getting the chance to have his questions answered would help heal the wounds that he had been harboring for so long instead of ripping them open further.

* * *

**_Author's note: I had particular trouble with this chapter and have rewritten it 5 or 6 times already trying to capture the depth of the feelings while still remaining true to the character's natures...Think I finally have it the way I want..._**

**_** Quote taken directly from HP & Deathly Hallows. [JK Rowling] Chapter 31, Page 636_**


	7. Comfort Foods

**Chapter 7 - Comfort Foods**

Snape paced in his office impatiently awaiting Harry's arrival and yet dreading it at the same time. He had wanted to put off talking with him as long as possible, but after witnessing his episode on the seventh floor had had been forced to recognize that the boy needed something from someone now rather than later. While he was certain that he was the last person qualified to offer any kind of logical advice or comfort he knew that there was no one else more immediately available than himself at the present time.

Harry finally arrived at the door at the same time that Winky, the house elf did with the trays of food.

"Hello Winky! It is so good to see you again!" Harry exclaimed.

"Harry Potter, sir," replied the elf with a bow. She then proceeded to conjure a table and chairs, set the table and set out the many platters of food. As per usual much more food than either of them could possibly eat had been brought up. There was, of course, Snape's favorite, Sheppard's pie along with baked chicken, beef tips, four different kinds of vegetables, mashed, baked and roasted potatoes, and to finish it all off there was truffles, pudding and a whole cake.

Once Winky had laid everything out she turned to Snape and said, "Your dinners, Headmaster. Can Winky bring you anything more, sir?"

"No. This will be all," he replied dismissively.

"Thank you Winky!" Harry called as she retreated from the room.

Snape fought back the urge to roll his eyes. Did he just thank a house-elf? It was, he reasoned thoughtfully, so typical of how he imagined Lily would have acted.

They sat down at the table and both of them quietly served themselves and began eating. Snape could not help but feel somewhat anxious as he struggled to untangle the thoughts in his mind and determine the best way to initiate this talk that he had been dreading. He glanced up at the portrait of Dumbledore, who gave Snape a knowing smile and motioned with hands to indicate that he should push on.

Stupid old man, Snape thought. He knew that he should have covered up the painting before Harry had arrived. He could hardly wait to move back down to his suite on the third floor in the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom.

"How are you feeling?" Snape began thinking that it would be best to start with the safe and easy topic and see how things progressed from there.

"Better, sir. Thank you," Harry muttered as his face turned a brilliant shade of red. "I am so sorry about earlier, sir."

Snape was now thoroughly confused. "What is Merlin's name could you possibly have to be sorry for?" Harry shrugged and Snape heaved a huge sigh. "You indicated earlier that this has happened to you before?"

"Yes, sir. Once before. But not as bad as this one. The first was when I was searching the grounds for Professor McGonagall," he replied.

"Hmm. Is there anything in particular that you feel may be triggering these episodes?" Snape pressed.

Harry looked up at up and Snape was astonished to see that there was a genuine look of fear in his eyes. What could he possibly be afraid of? Out of the corner of his eyes he could see Portrait Dumbledore nodding him on encouragingly.

Resisting the urge to shoot an offensive and rude gesture at the painting he said, in what he hoped was a sympathetic tone, "It's all right. Believe it or not I only wish to attempt to help you."

With the hint of a skeptical look Harry explained to him about the mysterious cold spots and the voices, echoes, and screams and even the flashback that has happened to him earlier that night.

Snape listened intently, and did not interrupt or say a word until well after Harry had finished speaking. "I am afraid that I do not have any insight into such a situation." He could not have helped but notice Harry's shoulders slump down at this news. "I will, however," he continues quickly, "inquire around as discreetly as possible to see if there is anyone else that might be able to explain what it is that is happening to you. I would strongly encourage you to do everything you can to avoid these cold spots if you are able."

"That will hopefully be no problem. I certainly have no desire to seek out these places purposefully," Harry said.

With nothing more to be said concerning this matter they both fell back into silence and focused their attentions on their dinners. It was nearly a full five minutes of uncomfortable quiet before anything else was said by either of them.

"Did my mother ever forgive you, sir? For the whole 'mudblood' thing I mean," he asked timidly.

Feeling somewhat surprised by the question, Snape hesitated before answering. "Yes…I believe she did, in her own time."

For a short moment Snape considered telling Harry about meeting with Lily during his near-death experience, but almost instantly thought better of it. It was all too private and too dear to his heart to consider sharing. He also wondered how Harry would have dealt with such information.

"Good," Harry was saying. "I would hate to think that she died without forgiving you."

"Why would you be glad for that?" Snape asked curiously.

Harry shrugged. "Several reasons I think. The biggest reason would be that if she was able to forgive you for something as horrible as that it would mean that she that she knew who it was that you really were. That she knew that the boy she had once considered to be her friend was still there somewhere," he explained quietly.

"Or maybe she was just a much better person than I could ever aspire to be," Snape countered.

"Does that mean that you have not ever forgiven my father?" Harry said with a small smile.

Snape fought back a grimace. How in the world was he supposed to explain this one? There was no way that he would ever be able to make the boy understand how deep the hatred for his father ran in him.

"How about we just say that I am working on it," Snape conceded.

"Fair enough, sir. I guess that it more than I could be willing to hope for anyway. You know…I was horrified at the way my father and Sirius had treated you when I found out. It reminded me so much of the way that my cousin used to treat me. I also think that I was a bit relieved as well sir," confessed Harry.

"Relieved?!"

"Well…yes, sir," replied Harry. It finally allowed me to understand your immediate and intense hatred of me. I was glad that there had at least been a reason for it all and was even more glad that it had nothing at all to actually do with me. To be honest, sir I had thought at one point that my aunt and uncle had gotten to you."

Snape laughed loudly in spite of himself. He was sure that he had never heard such reasoning from anyone before. The childlike innocence in the way that Harry interpreted life was so very much like his mother when she had been young.

"What do you mean you thought that your aunt and uncle had gotten to me?" he asked, anxious to clear the memories of his mother out of his mind.

"Whenever I started at a new school or a new grade, my Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon would feel the need to 'warn' them about me." Snape gave him a peculiar look and he rushed on to explain. "When I was growing up there were always weird and unexplainable things that happened around me most especially when I was being beaten up or bullied by Dudley. My aunt and uncle were constantly terrified that I would be discovered as being different or strange and how it would make people think of them. So they would always give the staff a warning that I was an inventive and troublesome child in hopes that if or when something did happen they would simply overlook it and take it for nothing more than me just wanting to start trouble."

"That was rather nice of them. I almost wish that they would have given me a good warning about you," Snape taunted.

Harry shot him a glare and then asked, "What was my mother like, sir?"

Snape was taken again at the simple naivety of his questions. He could not help but wish that all of the questions that Harry would need to ask were as simple as these.

"She was the most beautiful person I have ever met, both inside and out. She did not have a single mean or cruel bone in her body. She always had a comforting and caring shoulder for anyone that needed to lean on it." He began thinking about all the times that Lily had met him by the riverbank after he had had a difficult day at home thanks to the cruelness of his father. There was never a time that she did not fail to comfort him or help him forget, if only for a short moment, the troubles of the day. "She was also incredibly brilliant. I think that she would have even made Ms. Granger seem dim in comparison.

Harry smiled and thought about the things he had said as he helped himself to some pudding. When he next spoke there was a noticeable tremor in his voice.

"I wish I had known her," he choked out.

The sharp pain of guilt that those words had inflicted inside Snape was nearly too much for him to endure.

"She is enormously proud of you," Snape said quietly. "Everyone is."

Harry shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "That is what everyone has been telling me."

"I take it that you do not agree for some reason?" Snape sneered.

"I dunno. I guess I just wish that would treat me like I was some kind of hero to be worshiped or something. I only did what needed to be done. What Dumbledore told me that I needed to do. There is nothing about me that is special or unique that allowed me to succeed," Harry said sadly.

Snape bit back his irritation. "Hm…There is so much wrong with those words that I am afraid I do not know where to begin." He paused for a few moments as he tried to find the right words. "Regardless of the why behind your actions, what matters to the world is the end result. Voldemort is dead. Hundreds, if not thousands of lives, magical and muggle alike, have been saved. That is reason enough for celebration and fascination of the person that made it all possible for them all to live freely again."

Harry shook his head. "But there are so many people that did die because of me. Because I wasn't fast enough in defeating him, or because I brought him to Hogwarts and made them all a target! I never stopped to think of any of them or the dangers that I would bring to them by showing up like I did! The worst part of it is that so many of them died and I lived! I was supposed to have died with them! How am I supposed to face the families and friends of those that were lost knowing that their loved one died because of me!"

"You walking into that forest to face him alone, prepared to die should be proof enough to the world that you were willing to sacrifice everything for them. I dare anyone to find fault in selfless bravery such as that," replied Snape in an even and quiet tone.

"Brave? That wasn't brave! I was terrified the entire time!" Harry exclaimed loudly.

"And show me where it says that being brave means not being scared?! I would have considered you a fool if you hadn't been scared," scoffed Snape.

"You were never scared! I saw you! You faced Voldemort hundreds of times and were never scared! I saw your face when you were most certain that you were dying and there was no fear there! I was more scared for you than you were! I still can't sleep without seeing you lying there with your life and your blood bleeding out of you all the while you continued to keep cool and rational enough to carry out Dumbledore's last orders!" Harry was now visibly upset and kept blinking rapidly to keep his eyes from spilling over.

Snape sat in stunned silence. Surely he could not be serious! He glanced up at Dumbledore who nodding again and staring intently at him waiting for him to answer Harry back. He had no idea what he was supposed to say. He mused again about how he was the very last person that should be here having this conversation with the boy.

Snape took a deep breath and said, "There have been more days in my life, that I have lived in constant fear than not. When you saw me on that floor in the shrieking shack it was the first time that I was able to be free from the fear that had become my constant companion for far too long. I was not afraid to die, because it would have been an escape from that fear. I—"

A knock interrupted Snape. "Come in!" he bellowed.

"I am sorry to disturb you Severus, but I wanted to go over – Oh!" Professor McGonagall had just returned from The Burrow and had come to discuss with Snape details on getting the castle up and running again. "I'm so sorry, Harry. I did not realize that you were here."

"It's okay ma'am. I believe that we are nearly done here anyway," Harry said as he stood up quickly. Turning to Snape he said, "Thank you so much, sir. I think I will try to go get some sleep."

Snape stood as he watched Harry rush past McGonagall, out of the office and down the spiral staircase. He realized once Harry was out of his sight that he was more frustrated than before. He wasn't sure exactly what it was that he had been expecting from this talk, but he was certain that he should not be this confused by everything. He thought for a moment about consulting with portrait Dumbledore for advice, until his thoughts drifted toward St. Mungos. That would be perfect. He would go and consult with Healer Prewett and see if she could help him make sense of all of this.

"That went well didn't it?" portrait Dumbledore said cheerfully.

Snape glared at him and said, "Will you please just shut up for once?!"

The soft chuckle from the portrait was barely audible as Snape turned his attentions to his colleague and the business of repairing and rebuilding the castle.


	8. A Table For Three

**Chapter 8 - A Table For Three**

Snape collapsed into his chair feeling as though he had aged several years just in the past week. He had to admit though, that he was feeling rather well about the process that had been made with the castle.

The first thing that Snape had taken care of was the whole headmaster business. McGonagall had not been overly receptive to his stepping down and allowing her to take up the position, but had finally given in when he promised to assume the position of deputy headmaster. He had told her that he feared the backlash that might arise with him as headmaster considering that he had held the position under the shadow of Voldermort's reign and had even been appointed by Voldemort himself. He had been flattered by her insistence that she would defend him to anyone who dared complain, but he still insisted to return to his previous positions that he had held the year before this last one. Surprisingly Professor Slughorn was more than happy to relinquish Head of House duties back to Snape saying that he did not think he was as up to the task of anticipating the antics of the snakes as he used to be.

The next task that needed to be tackled was to get the castle back to operating conditions. The majority of the clean-up had not taken much longer than three days thanks to the large amount of volunteers that has shown up. After most of the debris had been cleared, Snape and McGonagall had been able to do a more thorough inspection of the damage that had been inflicted upon the school. It was quickly determined that since that majority of damage had been done either on a large scale by the giants or as a result of dark curses making it all too much for them to repair themselves. Especially since the stone block that had been used to build the castle were all enchanted by complicated protection spells that were essential for the protection of the students and the staff that lived and worked in the castle. The only option that was available to assure the castle would be repaired properly would be to hire the free masonry guild that had initially been entrusted with the building of the castle so many years ago. He had been grateful to learn that the masons still took great care to pass down through the generations, the tricks and secrets of their trade. He had been most relieved to be able to hand over the burden of rebuilding to such capable and competent hands.

He had to admit that perhaps he had gotten the easier of the tasks that needed to be accomplished. McGonagall had almost enthusiastically taken the daunting task of interviewing for the vacant staff positions that they were facing once again prior to the start of term. He wasn't quite sure all which positions needed to be filled besides Muggle Studies, unless Slughorn had changed his mind again, which was entirely possible since he had done so many times already in the past week. Snape suspected that he felt that he no longer needed the castle's protection any longer, but was unsure of what he would do with himself otherwise. No, Snape decided, he was very glad that he did not have to deal with personnel issues.

Now, having seen his duties through to completion, Snape found himself finally having a bit of free time. He decided that it would be the perfect opportunity to pay a visit to St Mungo's. He had some questions that he needed answered and knew the perfect person that might be able to help.

* * *

Alexis walked into the Three Broomsticks very much in need of a drink. Her mind was in such a frenzied state after the trying week that she had just had and needed to desperately to unwind. She was most grateful to find that he favorite Irish whiskey was well stocked here as she ordered herself a double on the rocks. She made a mental note to be sure to add that to the positive column in favor of being back on this side of the ocean.

After collecting her drink from the bar, she turned with hopes of finding an out of the way table to sire and meditate on her situation, when she noticed a familiar face hiding away in the corner like she had been hoping to do.

Harry Potter sat seemingly lost in his own world with an empty dinner plate in front of him, and Alexis contemplated whether she should join him or leave him to his musings. Before she could make a decision about what she should do, he lifted his head, spotted her and gave her a small wave and a smile.

Figuring this to be as much of an invitation as she would likely be receiving, she walked over to the table.

"Mr. Potter," she said with a nod of her head.

"Healer Prewett," Harry greeted her. "What a surprise to see you out this way! Would you like to have a seat?"

"Oh, yes please," she replied as she pulled out a chair. "And please call me Alexis or Lexi. Especially since I am not at work."

"Only as long as you call me 'Harry'," he countered with a grin.

She chuckled and said, "Done. So how are you doing?"

The flicker of fear that crossed his face did not go unnoticed by Alexis, nor did the waves of sadness, guilt and confusion that were now rolling freely off of the boy. Not for the first time in her life, she wished that she could turn off her ability to sense people's emotions.

"I'm okay," Harry said. "I've been keeping myself busy helping out at the school with the clean-up all week. I think we have finally finished about everything that we could do for now. Professor Snape said that they had to rely on experts for the rebuilding because of how extensive the damage was."

"That doesn't surprise me. I was up there just before coming in here and I have to admit that I was astonished by the amount of damage that had been done. It makes everything just feel so much more real to see the castle like that," she said as she attempted to block out the fresh wave of guilt and despair that was projected her way. "It is good to see you getting away from there for a bit. I imagine that it must be incredibly difficult for you to remain in such close proximity to everything that happened there."

A shadow fell over the table and she looked up only to be surprised at the sight of another familiar face.

"Mr. Potter. Healer Prewett," Snape said as he tried to hide his surprise at seeing her there.

"Professor," Harry said. "Would you care to join us?"

Snape glanced at Alexis who nodded and gestured with a sweeping to her hand to an empty chair at the table.

"I wondered where you had been hiding, Mr. Potter. Professor McGonagall was worried that you hadn't been down to the Great Hall for meals," Snape remarked as he sat down.

"Oh…Well," Harry began uncomfortably. "I guess I wasn't sure what I was supposed to be doing exactly. So a few of the nights I had Kreacher bring me up a tray to the tower, and a few nights I came out here."

Alexis could not help but notice how Harry was avoiding looking at his teacher. She glanced up at Snape and could immediately feel his confusion and frustration mixed with, most astoundingly concern. She shook her head trying to clear it out. Both of these men were giving her quite a headache with their maddening arrays of emotions.

"You can't possibly have thought that you would not be welcomed to join us for meals," Snape sneered. After seeing Harry's wounded expression as he looked up at him he stated, "Of course you did."

"When do the masons arrive, sir," Harry asked quickly as if anxious to change the subject.

"I believe they said that they would start work on the 18th, which would be Monday. Unfortunately, I had to assure him that the castle would be unoccupied by Friday, which only gives us two days to determine where you can go," Snape said as he watched Harry cautiously. Lowering his voice slightly and leaning in a bit closer he continued, "I did do my best to try to convince them to allow you to remain until you were able to arrange more permanent living arrangements, but they were most unforgiving. It was only after I convinced them of Flich's inability to perform even the simplest of spells that even he was permitted to stay."

As Alexis listened to this exchange between the two of them she was growing more and more confused. She did, however, fin herself somewhat moved by the feelings of apprehension and concern that was emanating from Snape.

"It's okay, Professor. Thank you for trying, but I suppose I will have to figure out something eventually. Might as well get a jump on it. I was planning on trying to return to Grimmauld Place, but Kreacher has begged me not to return saying that it was no longer safe. I'm sure Yaxley must have set up some kind of trap or something," Harry said grimly.

"Hmm. That would explain Kreacher's continued presence at the school. If a house-elf is too frightened to return to his home, it must be bad. How about you come to my office tomorrow morning and we can try to figure something out together," Snape suggested.

For the first time since she had met Harry his mood was considerably lighter. He seemed to feel somewhat hopeful and even excited despite what his carefully maintained expressions and his quietly muttered "Yes, sir," revealed.

"Can I get you all anything else," Madam Rosmerta said as she approached the table.

After another round of drinks were ordered Snape turned his attentions towards Alexis. "I must admit that I was rather shocked to find you here, Ms. Prewett. I was under the impression that you had already gone off to the States."

"Whom did you get that impression from?" she asked with a bitter tone. "Oh…and please…Call me Alexis or Lexi."

"From your former co-workers," Snape replied. "I was actually just returning from St Mungos actually. When I had asked to speak to you I was told that you no longer work there. So I naturally assumed that you had gone back to your American hospital."

"You were looking for me?" she asked worriedly. "Is everything all right? Are you not feeling well?'

"I am quiet recovered, I assure you," Snape stated. "I only wished to ask you some questions about an issue that is well beyond my areas of expertise."

"Oh?" Alexis was quite intrigued. What could he possibly have to ask her that was beyond his knowledge? Even more interesting perhaps was that he was able to admit that he was lacking some important information about anything. She could not have imagined that his ego would have allowed for such an admission of ignorance of any kind.

"I think it would be best discussed in a less public situation, I'm afraid" Snape said softly. "Perhaps I could persuade you to accompany us back up to the castle?" he asked while looking carefully over at Harry who seemed to be studying the table intently.

"I am going to take a guess here, Harry, and assume that these questions have something to do with you?" Alexis said. Harry nodded. "You are all right with my being involved in this situation?"

"I guess if it means that you are able to help, it doesn't matter," Harry said with a shrug.

"Shall we head up now?" Snape asked.

"Yea, why not? I don't have anywhere else to be right now," Alexis replied. Truth be told she didn't really have anywhere to be for quite a while.

"Shall I just meet you in your office, sir?" Harry said as he stood up and reached for a broomstick that was propped up in the corner.

Snape nodded as he stood and dropped several galleons on the table. He waved away Alexis's attempt to give him the coins to cover the cost of her drinks as they walked out of the pub.

"Thank you," she replied as they started up the street of Hogsmeade.

"My pleasure," Snape replied. "I do hope that I am not inconveniencing you too much by asking for your assistance. I know you must be anxious to return to your hospital in The States."

"Hmpf," Alexis muttered under her breath as some of her earlier frustrations began to surface once more. "There is no reason to worry about that I am afraid. It seems that I am no longer needed in The States. Apparently when Dumbledore asked for me to come here, he sent a muggle-born as a replacement for me there. I was told that it was for her safety from everything that had been happening over here, but now I am not so sure. Anyway, it seems they are quite happy with her work there so they have decided to keep her, leaving me left to find alternative employment elsewhere," she finished bitterly.

"Have you already found a new position?" he asked. She nodded. "Might I ask where this employment will take you?" he inquired cautiously.

Alexis looked up at the castle that had just come into their view, sighed and then said softly, "Hogwart's School of Witchcraft and Wizardry."


	9. The Truth Hurts

**Chapter 9 - The Truth Hurts**

Snape stopped dead in his walk to the castle as he tried to make sense of what he had just been told. Did Alexis just say that he would be working at Hogwarts?

"You looked almost as shocked as I am," Alexis said with a dry smile.

"What will you be doing?" he asked.

She sighed deeply. "I will be taking Madam Pomfrey's place in the infirmary. She has decided that it is time for her to retire. Minerva did not share with me the reasons behind her decision to leave, but I got the impression that the battle was the primary reason behind it."

"I get the impression that you are not particularly thrilled with the idea," Snape pressed carefully as the slowly continued their walk.

She was quiet for a long time, during which Snape stole sideways glances at her. He was certain that he saw her blinking rapidly as if she were fighting against the urge to cry. Snape waited patiently not wanting to push her, but was becoming afraid she was not going to answer him.

Finally she said quietly, "It's a long story. A complicated long story. I think for now it is safe to say that I feel like I was tricked into coming here. I know this is going to sound really odd, but I can't help but think that this is what Dumbledore had in mind when he asked me to return here to begin with. Like he knew that I would end up working at the school."

Snape snorted and said, "Unfortunately, I have found that there is rarely anything that Albus Dumbledore did, that did not have some greater purpose."

"Heh. Great," she said with a forced laugh.

Snape overcome with the odd sensation of feeling as though he needed to say something to help make her feel more at ease said conversationally, "It will be nice having another Slytherin Alumni on the staff. I'm afraid Slughorn has turned a bit soft on me and hardly seems to count as one."

This time Alexis did not have to force her laugh. "You can't be serious! What is he still doing here?"

"Albus called him back out of retirement for reason unknown to the rest of us. The only good to have come out of it was that I was finally allowed to take over the Defense Against the Dark Arts classes," he replied.

"What? You are not teaching potions? I would have thought that you would be a natural for the post. Of course I guess with old Sluggy back it would make sense, but still…" she marveled.

He eyed her carefully to see if she was poking fun at him before saying, "I found that I grew quite tired of potions. Defense was something I always felt that I was more qualified for."

"Is that because of the things that 'The Prophet' said about you?" she asked softly. "Were you really one of his Death Eaters?"

Snape grimaced. He should have known that this was coming. "I was," he confessed slowly, "immediately after leaving Hogwarts." He stole a look at her reaction of the corner of his eye. Her expression told him nothing. "But you must know, three years after I left school, before Voldemort fell the first time, I joined forces with Dumbledore as a spy from within. It was the only option I had. No one leaves his service without getting killed. I knew that he needed to be stopped and I did what I felt needed to be done. When he came back, I was forced to resume my activities," he said. He forced himself to stop talking, completely unaware of why he felt the need to justify anything to this woman.

"Geez! And he never suspected you?! No wonder Harry thinks so highly of you! Although personally I do not know if I would call you brave or just plain crazy. Or maybe suicidal. Who knows," she said admiringly.

As Alexis spoke, Snape was astonished to realize that she didn't seem disgusted, frightened or judgmental towards him at al. She seemed, in fact, nearly unaffected by his confession. She almost acted as if she were in awe of him, he dared to think.

"Is this what you showed to Harry when he found you? He said that he felt so bad for the way he had treated you and guilty for the things that he had accused you of," Alexis was saying.

"There seems to be a great many things that Mr. Potter has assumed the guilt for. I am sure that his treatment of me is rather the least of his concerns, as it should be," he added quickly.

"I think that is where you are wrong, Severus. I believe that you are one of the foremost things on Harry's conscious right now," she said quietly.

"That does not make any sense," he said. "Potter treated me no differently than what would have been expected based on what he knew of me."

"Why do you only ever refer to him as 'Potter' or 'Mr. Potter'?"

"Isn't that his name?" Snape sneered.

Alexis smiled. "Of course it is. But he also has a first name which you seem to be against using."

"I refer to all of my students by their last names. It is only proper," he countered.

"While this may be true, I somehow doubt that you speak their last names with such contempt as you do when you speak Harry's," she said carefully.

He immediately began to protest this observation when she cut him off and continued speaking, "It's no use arguing with me about it. You see I have this…ability I guess you could say, to sense people's emotions. Sometimes I not only sense them, but feel them as my own. It's an unfortunate talent that I have had my entire life," she scoffed. "I am easily able to a person's feelings and decipher them even when they themselves may not be able to pinpoint what it is they are feeling."

"I've never heard of such a thing," he spat coldly, feeling somewhat violated by this intrusion of his emotional state.

"I don't care if you have heard of it or not. The point is, when you speak the name 'Potter' you do so with nothing but hate and loathing in your heart. And I think I know why," she said as she stopped walking suddenly. "You use his surname to always keep reminding yourself that Harry is James Potter's son, so that you can always keep Harry at a distance from you."

Snape felt the fury rise up inside of him like a fire. "Don't you dare speak that name to me!" he spat dangerously. "You have no idea—"

"No! You have no idea! I remember how James and his friends used to torment you, Severus. So I can only imagine what it must be like for you to now be in a position where his son is depending on you for so much. But it is time for you to finally stop feeling sorry for yourself because of how you were treated and realize that Harry is not anything like that cruel obnoxious bully that his father was!" She took a step closer to Snape. "You have had so many chances to prove to yourself and to Harry that you are a better person that his father was and yet judging from what he told me about how much you hated him I can see that you failed miserably! You have been just as bad…no worse than James! Worse because you know how it feels! Worse because you are a grown-ass man who couldn't see past his own childhood prejudices! Worse because that boy feels nothing but admiration for you and guilt, not only for what he wrongly believed about you but also, for the way his father treated you!" Alexis finished hoarsely.

Snape stared at her unsure of what to think or say. He wanted to scream at her and tell her how wrong she was, but he could not find the words. There were many points that she had made that were possibly to close to the truth.

"I had no choice but to treat him as I did," he managed. "It was necessary for me to be able to maintain uh…position," he finished weakly. He knew that she wasn't buying his lame excuse but he tried to stand his ground.

Thankfully she chose not to challenge him. Instead her intense glare softened and she moved to stand and face him.

"Now that you no longer have to live that life anymore, maybe it is time for you to start again. Whether or not you want to believe it, Harry needs you. His is, in so many ways still only a child. A child that was forced to grow up too fast and has been through more than anyone else can hardly imagine. He needs someone that knows what he has been through to give him the strength to tackle the things that still lie before him," she whispered.

Snape looked down into her silver eyes that seemed to plead with him and was astonished to see a reflection of Harry mirrored in them. He pushed a little further into her mind and heard as Harry screamed at Alexis about his failure in the shrieking shack. He watched as Harry was reduced to a heart wrenching sobbing making him look so much younger than he actually was. His grief was almost palpable even in her memories. It was an image that he would not be able to force easily from his mind.

"He is waiting for us. We need to get going," Snape muttered as he withdrew from her memories, stepped around Alexis and resumed his walk to the castle.

* * *

Harry landed in the main courtyard of the school where he decided to sit and rest as he waited for Snape and Alexis to walk up from Hogsmeade. He was surprised by the unseasonable chill in the air tonight. He considered for a moment, going up to the tower and grabbing his cloak, but dismissed the idea thinking that he could stand the chill for the short time that he would be waiting.

Deciding that he could stay warm if he kept moving, he began to pace around the courtyard. He supposed that he should be nervous about having to try to explain to Alexis about the fits that he has been having, but instead all he could feel was relief about the possibility of finally having his living situation figured out.

He truly had been astonished when Snape had offered to help him find a place to live, but he was more than anything grateful. He didn't have the first clue about how or where to even begin looking for a place to live in a magical community. Him and Ron had talked about trying to find a place together, but he didn't figure that would be for quite a while. He was certain that Snape would be able to help him find something.

Of course finding a place to live wouldn't cure all of his worries. He still needed to figure out something that he could do for some income. He had been trying not to think about how he was absolutely unemployable in not only the magical world, but in the muggle world as well but he knew that he would not be able to live forever on the monies that his parents had left him. He supposed if things really got desperate for him he could always take Mr. Creevey's offer to join him in the milkman business.

He had met Mr. Creevey several days ago when he had attended Colin Creevey's funeral. When he had asked what Harry's plans were now that he had been done with school, Harry had found himself confessing that he had very few options available to him. Being a milkman for his entire adult life, Mr. Creevey assured Harry that if was a profitable and well-respected muggle job. Harry was unsure of which one of them he was truly trying to convince with this information, Harry or himself.

It had been a nice service that had been packed primarily by muggles since Colin & Dennis were muggle born wizards. Under most normal conditions, Harry would have been more than happy for the animosity the he experienced amongst muggles, but he thought that it had been horribly unfair to the memory of Colin's heroism for his non-magic friends and family to be told that he had been killed in an automobile hit-and-run accident. If it hadn't been for Hermione, Ginny and the rest of the members of Dumbledore's Army that had been there, he might have gotten himself into some serious trouble by blurting out the truth about what had happened to him.

The hardest part of the day had been the viewing following the memorial service. He had to summon all of his strength to even approach the statue. Looking down into the face of the boy lying there before him, the guilt he felt once again nearly overwhelmed him. He did not even try to hold back the tears that escaped as he wondered how no one had noticed him returning back to Hogwarts.

Colin, who had even not attended Hogwarts that year because of the muggle-born status, had been carrying the charm galleon that Neville had used to summon the DA members to assemble for the battle. Somehow he had managed to sneak through the Hog's Head and into the castle despite his being underage.

Harry had slipped the autographed picture of him that Colin had begged for since his first year at school, next to the stuffed Gryffindor lion that someone had placed in the casket before him. He turned with a glare at his friends behind him just daring them to make some snide remark about this gesture, but was met instead with grim faces that showed nothing but complete understanding about the significance of the gift.

With his thoughts as absorbed in his memories as they were, and the unseasonable chill in the air, Harry was taken quite by surprise when he began to hear the screams and echoes of the battle in his head.

Instantly disorganized and confused, Harry closed his eyes to attempt to block out the noise when he saw an image of Tonks across the courtyard battling with Bellatrix in his mind.

"No!" he heard himself scream.

He watched in horror as he saw Tonks getting pushed further and further back barely able to keep up with the barrage of attacks being thrown at her by her aunt. He knew that he had to do something to help her before she was struck down before his eyes.

"Bellatrix!" he shouted at her as loud as he could manage.

As she turned her attention from Tonks, trying to locate the source of the distraction, Harry saw the blinding green light. It was not coming from the direction that he was looking, but from off to his right from where he had been dueling with Dolohov.

He was surprised that he felt no fear, but happiness as an image of Tonks holding baby Teddy in her arms materialized from the center of the bright green light that was coming nearer and nearer to him.

"Harry!"

Someone was calling him. He could feel himself shivering and shaking. He tried taking a deep breath and was overwhelmed with a sharp pain in his chest.

"What's happening to him?!"

"This is how I found him before."

He heard the voices, but they sounded like they were echoing from very far away, as if they were inside of a cave. He struggled to take a deep breath and felt a heavy warmth covering his shoulder.

A voice very close to his ear spoke to him gently, "Harry, breath. You are all right. No one is hurting you. Open your eyes and look at me."

Very much unlike the previous time that he had been found in such a state he was not embarrassed or worried about what Snape was thinking about him. Instead he felt overwhelmed with relief. He reached out blindly searching for the man that he knew was kneeling at his side. When he found the arm that was nearest to him he gripped it tightly.

"I saw Tonks…fighting Bellatrix…" he whispered before he took a ragged, painful breath. "And Remus. No…I was Remus…I had his thoughts…I-I saw what he saw. And thought what he thought. He died because he was trying to distract Bellatrix to give Tonks a chance to kill her! But Dolohov killed him in the process." Harry rambled. "I saw the curse coming at me. I saw Teddy and Tonks in the light! I thought that I was him!"

When opened his eyes and saw the concern in his former foe's expression he found that he almost could not continue.

He lowered his eyes and mumbled, "That wasn't even the worst part. The worst of all of it was that when I heard you talking and I realized that I wasn't dead I…well…I-I was relieved that it wasn't really me that had died," he exclaimed as the flood gates opened and for the second time in a week he found himself sobbing uncontrollably.


	10. Unexpected Answers

**Chapter 10 - Unexpected Answers**

Alexis arrived back at her family home and was amazed at how exhausted she was. The day had been much more emotionally draining than she had realized.

The image of Severus kneeling next to Harry holding the cloak awkwardly around his shoulders as he tried to compose himself was one that was sure to stay with her for quite a long time. She almost might have found it humorous if not for the absolute seriousness of the situation.

The panic that had been on Severus's face as Harry clung to him desperately trying to regain control to himself was obvious even to the most casual observer. He had not, however, let his discomfort interfere with doing what had needed to be done to calm Harry, bring him inside and up to his office and encourage him to attempt to explain to Alexis what had been happening to him.

Luckily, she had been able to give Harry some tentative answers for what was going on with him. While she had never actually met anyone with similar problems she had read about the phenomenon before.

It was a condition called assimilated flashbacks. As far as she could reason, Harry's willingness to die for all those that had been fighting with him and his extreme desire to protect the school from further harm had created an emotional and almost psychic connection to the castle. This in turn made him incredibly sensitive to the highly emotional last moments of those that had died. It was something, however, that was not usually experienced by your average witch or wizard. It was usually something that almost exclusively reported to have happened to seerers, but Alexis reasoned that Harry's situation had been far from ordinary which could have contributed to the incidents.

Harry had seemed adequately relieved by the information, but had seemed concerned about how to make the episodes stop, other than just avoiding the castle completely. She had assured him that there were spells that could be cast to ward off energies like these and she promised him that she would look into it and get back to him.

It hadn't been until Harry had excused himself to retire for the night that Alexis expressed her concerns to Severus.

"I am not sure how exactly we could go about trying to cast these spells over all of these spots and know for certain that we would be able to find all of them. There has been far too much death and destruction here that he may end up finding them for many years to come if he continued to frequent the school. The only other option would be to cast the spell over the entire castle and I do not know anyone with that must power," she had said.

"I will speak to the freemasons. They have access to spells that have been passed down to them that may be able to alleviate the problem. It is even entirely possible that the ancient protection spells that they cast over each individual break prior to being placed will eliminate the issue all together," he had supplied.

They had sat in an awkward silence for several long minutes before Alexis asked quietly, "Why does Harry need help finding a place to live?"

"I am not entirely familiar with all of the details, but I was told that his aunt and uncle with whom he had been placed after his parents had died, were cruel to him growing up. They reportedly hated anything to do with him, his parents or most especially the magical world. I believe he still took the trouble to send them away into hiding for protection in case Voldemort were to try to use them to try to get at Harry. He had inherited a residence from his godfather, but the place had since been destroyed by some ministry goons last year. So he is essentially homeless once again although this time he is of age and does not require the need of a guardian like when he had been forced upon his aunt and uncle," Severus said.

"So you are just going to find him an apartment or something for him to just live by himself?" she asked with a hint of surprise.

"He is an adult now. Surely you do not believe that the brave hero of the world requires a parental figure to provide supervision do you?" he replied with a sneer.

Alexis glared at him. "Of course not. I am merely concerned about how you are expecting him to be able to afford the expenses that are required in buying or renting a place of his own. I am assuming that he will be heading off to some apprenticeship or internship for several years and there are very few that actually provide an income during those training periods."

She had known immediately that this concept was not one that had previously crossed his mind by the dismayed look on his face.

He sighed in defeat. "I must admit that I had not considered that. This issue of his financial situation has not, that I am aware of, been an object of concern for him thus far."

"If I may…I believe that I could have a solution to this problem," she had said timidly. She had waited for him to look up at her before proceeding, "I have been…eh…fortunate enough to have inherited my family home upon their deaths. The home is far too large for me alone and seeing as I will be spending the school year here, it would be a perfect place for him. Even if he did not wish to live in the house, there is a rather large guest house and a house that our groundskeeper used to occupy. Both places are located on the property and are fully equipped to be completely independent of the manor if desired."

Snape had admitted that this sounded like it was most likely the best idea available and had agreed to bring Harry by the house in the morning.

Alexis sank down at the head of the massive dining table as the house-elf Trixie, brought her out a steaming bowl of potato soup.

"Thank you, Trixie. May I ask for you and Trigger to go and check on the guest house and Mr. Brenner's old place? We may have someone that may be staying with us for a bit who may feel more comfortable in his own place rather than here with us in the manor," Alexis said.

The elf bowed. "Of course Misses. We will be happies to have guests stay with us." She bowed again and hurried away.

She didn't think that she ever get used to giving orders to the house-elves. She had immediately upon returning, considered setting them free. When she had presented the idea to them, however, they became completely hysterical and pleaded with her to allow them to stay. They had assumed that they had done something horribly wrong or had offended her in some way. She could only assume that their terrified reaction was largely due to how her mother had most likely treated them.

She had only very vague memories from the earliest years of her life, but she did have a very clear mental image of her mother kicking one of their elves clear across the room for what had likely been some trivial issue or error. In those early days there had been at least a dozen house-elves employed at the Prewett Manor. While a majority of them had worked in the kitchen there had been several that had worked upstairs maintaining the house and attending to the family. Trixie had been exclusively assigned to then to her mother's needs, while Trigger had been the valet/butler for the house. Where the rest had gone over the years, Alexis had no knowledge of. She had actually been astonished that even these two had still been keeping the house up after so many years of the house being vacant.

She finished up her soup and headed up to the bedroom that she had claimed as hers. It was the largest of rooms, which had at one time been her parent's room. While she would not have generally preferred to occupy the same room as the very people that had spent their entire lives ignoring her existence in the world, this had been the room that had needed the least amount of cleaning and preparing when she had arrived. Since the room was so large she often used it as a sitting room as well. The manor was such a big place that she felt completely dwarfed being all alone. So she had been spending what little free time she had been given when working at the hospital reading in her room. She supposed that she was going to have to work on investigating the rest of the rooms and get them into a hospitable condition since she would not be returning to The States for some time.

As she climbed into bed and snuggled down under the covers she was startled to realize that she wasn't as upset about staying in the country as she had been earlier this morning. Perhaps it was because she was feeling pretty good about being able to help Harry with his housing problem. A nagging voice in her mind however, that she was trying desperately to ignore, was asking her if her change of heart about the change in her employment could possibly be due to a desire to have some time to get to know a particular mystery man from her past.

* * *

When Harry woke up the following morning he felt like he was more than ready to tackle his problem with his living situation. After talking with Alexis the night before about his episodes, he felt considerably better. While seeing and hearing how the people he cared most had died was still pretty disturbing, at least he could feel better about what was happening and why. He had begun thinking that he had been going completely insane.

He hurried to eat the breakfast that Kreacher had brought him and then headed down to meet Snape in his office. He knocked on the open door and walked in to find Snape drinking a cup of tea and reading an old looking book.

"Come on it," Snape said. "Tea?"

Harry shrugged. "Sure."

Snape poured Harry a cup and asked as he sat down, "Feeling better this morning?"

"A bit sir," he said cautiously. He began to feel a bit embarrassed by the events from the night before.

Snape just nodded and sipped his tea. Harry got the impression that there was more that he wanted to say, but was holding back for some unknown reason. He grabbed his own tea and took a small sip while he waited to hear what Snape was not saying.

As they both sipped quietly at their tea Harry noticed Snape kept opening his mouth as if to speak before shaking his head and closing it again. Finally Harry gave it and broke the silence.

"Is everything okay Professor?"

Snape sighed and said, "Yes. There something I wish to discuss with you before we get to your living arrangements."

Harry could tell that Snape was not feeling very comfortable with whatever it was that needed to be said which was beginning to make him feel very nervous.

"When I was attacked, there had been a moment, though I am unsure for how long, that I was truly dead. I had found myself beyond the veil," he said very softly. "I had been sure that I had reached my end. But I was told that my time was not up. That I was still needed in this life. At the time I didn't understand or believe it. All I had wanted was to stay right where I was."

Harry took a moment and realized that he must have been beyond the veil as well when he had seen Professor Dumbledore. "Did you see Dumbledore too?"

"What? Too? Whatever do you mean?" he spat.

"Oh…well…when Voldemort hit me with the Avada Kedavra, suddenly I felt like I was in King's Cross Station with Dumbledore. We talked for a bit before he told me that I should go back," Harry explained quietly.

Snape look confused for a moment but said, "I see. But no. I did not speak with Professor Dumbledore. Who it was that spoke with me is not your concern. The point I was trying to make was that now I am back I am glad that I am here. Naturally I mourn those that could not be here with us, but that does not mean that I should feel ashamed that I survived. And neither should you. I am most certain that Remus, Tonks, Mr. Weasley, Black and most especially…your mother, are all more than grateful that you survived. The best way to honor them would be to get on living your life appreciating all of the things that you have before you. I know that I am grateful for the second chance that I was given. And of course to you an Aberforth for discovering me."

Harry looked away from him. He did not think that he should feel anything but contempt towards him for leaving him there to die.

"You don't have to feel grateful to me, sir. I did nothing to help you at all. I left you there to die while I ran away to save myself," Harry mumbled.

Snape sighed heavily as he closed his eyes and massaged the bridge of his nose. He looked like he was angry and Harry began to regret his comment. He was about to apologize when Snape began speaking again.

"I cannot begin to understand you constant need to take responsibility for the burdens and issues of everyone around you. While I truly believe that you have nothing but honorable and noble intentions, I am certain that you will end up aging well beyond your time if you don't end up crushing yourself from the weight of the undue stress of it all." He paused to look at Harry, sighed again and continued to speak," I do not blame you for what happened, Harry. Your priority at the time was to get to Voldemort. There is no way that you could have known that I even had a chance of surviving. Even I did not know that. But if you hadn't sought him out, Aberforth would never have followed you and found me. It all goes back to the old adage, 'Everything happens for a reason.' Does any of this make any sense to you?" he finished in a huff.

"Yes sir," Harry responded quickly. He could see how uncomfortable Snape was with this entire conversation and he himself was more than ready to close this topic. "Thank you, sir," he added as a quick after thought.

Snape nodded and looked quite relieved. Harry could not help but be surprised by the complete change in personality and character that Snape had shown since he had been attacked. Was it possible that his whole hatred of him through the years had been nothing but a ruse? It certainly had seemed real enough all those years.

"Professor…Why are you being so nice to me now?" he blurted out before he lost his nerve.

Shock registered on Snape's face at his bluntness and for a moment Harry feared he had gone too far. But Snape just shook his head and said, "Merlin only knows. But if I were you I wouldn't get used to it," he sneered. "It is entirely possible that I may remember what it was that used to irritate me so much about you and decide that I have a lot of making up for from this week or so."

"Fair enough," Harry replied working hard to conceal a small smile as Snape turned the conversation to the topic that had inspired this meeting…a place for Harry to live.


	11. Domesticated Harmony

**Chapter 11 - Domesticated Harmony**

Harry was startled awake by the booming sound of thunder. He had been in the middle of a very vivid and real dream that he was now trying desperately to remember and hold on to. Unfortunately the dream was lost to him and he was left feeling frustrated.

Grumbling to himself he rolled out of bed. As he got himself dressed he again could not help but marvel at this amazing room that he could now call his own. The entire room was about the size of the common room in Gryffindor tower. He had his own bathroom suite attached to the room and had a closet that he was certain that he would never be able to fill. There was a set of French doors that opened up to a small balcony that overlooked dense forest to the south of the house. The room did not have much in the way of decorations, but Alexis had assured him that he could do whatever he wished with the room.

It had been almost two weeks since Snape had brought him Prewett Manor and Alexis had presented him her incredible offer to share her home with him. He had been mildly hesitant at first but had been easily convinced after spending the morning with Alexis. She had given him and Snape a tour of her house and the grounds. Harry had never seen a more amazing house in his life. He had seen over a dozen bedrooms, half as many bathrooms, twenty-one fire places, two sitting rooms, a library that easily dwarfed the one at Hogwarts, a music room complete with a grand piano, a large study with a built in bar and even a sunlit conservatory containing a patio/dining area capable of seating twenty or so comfortably. He had only been half-joking when he had asked if he was going to be getting a map to be able to find his way around.

The manor sat on about ten acres of land surrounded by a dense forest. The property included a pond, an enormous rose garden and even two separate houses. Thus far Harry had spent most of his time outside flying his broomstick. Luckily the nearest muggle was far enough away that there was no risk at him being seen as long as he didn't fly too high.

Everything might have been completely overwhelming for Harry had it not been for how at ease and relaxed he felt here. He had at first suspected that Alexis had been using her mood spell on him, but had finally concluded that it was simply her. There was just something about her that just made him feel comfortable. She had somehow even managed to make Snape laugh several times which was a complete shock to Harry. He had never seen him in any social situations outside of school, but he felt pretty certain that this behavior had been quite out of the ordinary for him.

Harry walked out of his room and headed down into the dining room where he found Alexis already eating her breakfast and reading the morning edition of "The Daily Prophet".

"Good morning," she greeted him. "How did you sleep?"

"Pretty well," he replied. "I had some dreams, but I still didn't remember any of them. But I did not feel like they had been anything bad this time."

"Well that's a good sign then," she said.

Harry had been plagued with nightmares since the night that he had moved in which had embarrassingly enough had woken Alexis up despite her bedroom being the farthest away from his. The first night or so, Alexis had come running to his room to make sure that he wasn't in any danger. She soon became accustomed to his screaming and chose to refrain from running into his room, although several nights he had sworn he had heard the floorboards creaking outside of his room after he had awoken. He had been grateful, however, that she had spared him the humiliation of bursting in on him yet again.

He did have to admit though that it had been rather nice to have someone who had seemed genuinely concerned about him. Never before had anyone ever come to check on him after having a nightmare. Or to have someone who would care enough to ask him about the dreams the next morning over breakfast.

"What's on your agenda for today?" she asked as Trixie poured him some orange juice.

She asked this every morning and Harry knew that she was hoping to hear something different than flying his broomstick. She had expressed concerns about how isolated he had been. Several times she had encouraged him to go visit his friends or just get away from the house for a while. He had tried explaining to her that he simply did not feel like visiting with anyone and needed some time alone to work some things out.

He did, several days after moving into the manor, venture out to Diagon Alley. It had proven to be quite the disaster. Almost immediately upon arriving he had been overwhelmed with witches and wizards that showered him with their praise and appreciation. It had not taken long before a sizable crown had gathered, which had apparently drawn the attention of some rather angry goblins who had been working on the repairs being made at Gringott's Bank. The goblins had tried to push their way through the crowd and began shouting that he needed to be arrested and held accountable for the damages he had caused at the bank and for the loss of their dragon.

Thankfully the majority of the crowd that had gathered managed to keep the goblins away from Harry but that was only because they had been pushing forward themselves trying to get his autograph and stuff. Finally he had felt someone tugging on his arm and found one of his former classmates Cormac McLaggen trying to pull him through the crowd. Harry had formed an almost instant dislike to him when they had been at school together so he had been hesitant to go with him.

"It's ok," Cormac had said. "Let me help you get out of here." He flicked his wand over his head causing a loud echoing noise to emanate down the alley.

While the crowd cowered distractedly at the unknown origin of the sound, Harry had allowed Cormac to lead him away to a small shop. As he ducked inside he recognized the name Twilfitt and Tatting's, an upscale wizarding clothing shop that Harry had never visited before. Once inside Harry realized that the shop from the outside had appeared to be windowless, but now from the inside he saw that the shop windows were charmed to act like some kind of one-way glass. Harry had able to watch as the crowd as they scrambled past trying to figure out where he had gone.

"Antoinette, I'm so sorry to have burst in here. Poor Harry here was getting mobbed by a crowd. Do you think he could use your floo?" Cormac was saying to an older attractive woman with a measuring tape draped across her shoulders.

"But of course," the woman said with a small bow and gesture towards the stairs in the back of the shop. "Just up the top of the stairs."

"Hey, thanks man. Things were starting to get ugly out there," Harry had said awkwardly.

"It's no problem. I figured I owed you anyways," he had replied as he stared at his feet.

They had shook hands and Harry had hurried off to the fireplace upstairs, after pausing along the way to check out an amazingly warm looking fur-lined cape, and escaped into the green flames. When he had arrived by at the manor he had been glad to have Alexis there to discuss the distressing events of the day. Since that day he had not had any further interest in trying to interact with the rest of the wizarding world. That was the reason that Alexis asked him every morning what his plans were for the day.

Harry looked up at Alexis and took another bite of his food. "I hadn't really thought about it actually. I think Ron and Hermione were supposed to have gotten back from Australia yesterday. I suppose I can go visit them. I know Ginny has been sending owling me to wanting to see me. Maybe I can head over to The Burrow and see all of them. I haven't been over since Fred's funeral," he finished in a mumble.

Alexis studied him for a second before saying, "I have another suggestion that might be a little less intimidating. How about you invite them and whomever else you would like, over for dinner tonight? I had told Minerva that I could host a staff meeting here at the manor since we won't have access to the castle for several more weeks. Since I am most likely the only person who would be able to comfortably fit everyone I and I needed an opportunity to meet everyone I decided to make it a dinner party/staff meeting. I already spoke with Trixie and she said that with the addition of Kreacher on staff she will have more than enough help to prepare a proper dinner, I'm sure she wouldn't mind preparing a little extra for you and your friends. We can even set up the conservatory for you since I am sure that you all would not want to sit and eat with your teachers," she finished with a smile.

"That actually sounds perfect," Harry replied.

As had become usual between them, Alexis had managed to read him almost too accurately. He supposed that other people would have been freaked out by this, but it was surprisingly comforting to Harry. He very much appreciated not having to constantly explain himself and justify his actions. Even during the first few days when they had spent time talking and becoming better acquainted he had never found himself annoyed or bothered by her many questions about his life or his past. Somehow he doubted that he would feel the same way if it had been most anyone except for Alexis. She had shown nothing but genuine interest and concern and he had never felt that she was judging him or anything.

He was quite curious, however, about why whenever he had tried to ask her about her life or her past, she way very careful to avoid answering him. All he had gotten thus far had been that she had left Europe almost immediately after finishing he NEWTs and worked at a hospital in the States until last year when her help had been needed at St Mungo's.

He pushed aside his musings about Alexis as he got up from the table. He figured that her past was truly none of his business no matter how curious he was. If she didn't feel like sharing, who was he to pry? Besides Snape trusted her and right now that was enough for him. With that he headed upstairs to write out three dinner invitations to his friends.

* * *

When the owl had arrived at kitchen window of The Burrow, her heart nearly stopped. She couldn't understand how, but she just knew that this letter was from him. As she took the letter from the bird, she found that her hands were trembling. She felt like it she had been waiting for years rather than weeks to finally here from him, but now that he did contact her she found that she was afraid of what he might say. Would this finally be the explanation she had been asking for as to why he had been avoiding her? Or would he tell her that he no longer wanted her in his life?

As she read the note inviting her to a dinner party along with Ron and Hermione she found her fear and apprehension turned to anger. After nearly a month of her reaching out to him and living in constant worry and heartache for him with no answer besides him pushing her aside and ignoring her, he is just suddenly going to invite her to dinner with his two best friends?! It's not like he hadn't just spent the better part of the last year with the two of them, now he needs them there with him to avoid having any one-on-one time alone with her. Were they supposed to be there and act as some kind of buffer between them so he could continue avoiding actually talking with her? Maybe she just wouldn't go! What would he care?

Yet even as she stared at the note trying to figure out what to should do, she knew that she just had to see him. He needed to see the pain that he was causing her and she needed answers. She would force him to talk with her if he wouldn't do so willing! She would make sure of that!

The next few hours were spent making sure that she looked as good as could possibly look. She was careful not to look over done, keeping her makeup simple and natural, using a smoothing serum on her hair and tying it back in a simple low braid and choosing a flattering but casual sun dress. Still, standing in the fireplace with a handful of floo powder it took all of her will power just to ease her trembling hands. She had tried to convince herself that she just didn't care, but had not even come close to believing a word of it.

With a shaky breath she threw down the powder and said, "Prewett Manor."

When she had stopped spinning and stepped out of the green flames, she noticed immediately that Harry was standing ready to meet her. He took two steps in her direction when she managed to stop him in his tracks with a cold angry glare.

He hung his head and sighed deeply and said, "We need to talk."

She was a bit taken aback since she had not anticipated him being receptive to a discussion and had prepared a scathing speech to force him to speak with her. Instead she managed a weak nod.

He gestured for her to follow him and he lead her off through the house. As they walked she could not help but stare around in complete awe at the house. It was obviously very old and filed with very expensive antique furniture and ornate paintings. She could never imagine living in a place as vast like this one. Looking around she was pretty convinced that the entire Burrow could easily fit into the foyer that they were not passing through.

"Harry, where are we going?" she asked as they stepped outside onto the front porch at the front of the house.

"I was thinking that we could take a walk around the grounds and talk, but I forgot that it was raining," he mumbled.

Ginny looked out at the sprawling lawn in front of them and pointed at the gazebo off to the right of the house.

"Let's go over there," she suggested.

Harry nodded and then grabbed her hand as they both ran out into the rain. By the time they had run the short distance and stood under the roof of the gazebo they were both completely drenched.

They stood shivering in silence for several long uncomfortable minutes. Ginny was determined to continue studying her feet knowing that she would be unable to maintain composure if she dared look up into the green eyes. Luckily she was spared having to initiate conversation when Harry spoke up first.

"I know that you are angry with me and I don't blame you. I have been trying to figure out what to say to you, but I am just not good at this stuff," he said sadly.

"What 'stuff' Harry? Being a friend? Not ignoring people who want to do nothing but help you? Or maybe you mean just writing a letter because Merlin knows I sent you plenty of those!" she replied as she felt her anger and resentment rising up once more.

Harry shrugged. "Yea. Maybe all of those. I haven't even been able to understand what is going on with myself, so I have no idea how to try to explain it to anyone else. Especially you."

Ginny felt like she had just been slapped. "What do you mean 'especially me'?! What is so wrong with me that you would imagine that you couldn't talk to me?!" She knew that her voice was rising and had become high-pitched and shrill very much like her mother's, but she could not bring herself to even care. "What did I ever do to you to make you feel that way about me?!"

"What? Oh heavens no! That isn't what I meant at all," he spluttered in stunned horror. "I only meant that there would be no way that I could ever feel right about dumping my issues on you when you should in every right absolutely hate me for what I have done not only to you, but to your entire family."

Now it was Ginny's turn to be confused. "Harry, what it the world are you talking about?"

He stared at her as if trying to find the words before he dropped his eyes and addressed his own feet. "I have done nothing but put you and your family in danger since the day that I met Ron. I have torn your family apart and my own selfish stupidity lead to Fred getting killed in the end. I could have avoided it all had I just snuck into Hogwart's that night instead of allowing everyone to fight for me. Instead I have spent years hiding behind everyone and watched as all of the people that I ever allowed myself to think of as family die because of me," he finished with despair.

"You can't possibly believe that," she whispered in shock.

He raised his head to look at her and she saw the tears that he was trying desperately to hold back. Her heart nearly broke as she saw the truth swimming in the depth of those green eyes. Unable to contain herself she closed the gap between them and wrapped her arms around him.

"None of that is your fault, Harry. Nobody blames you for anything, especially any of us. How could you even think that? We all knew the risks in what we were getting ourselves into from the very beginning," she said softly.

"But none of you would have had to get involved at all if I had never come into your lives," he murmured.

"Think about who you are talking about here. Do you honestly think that mom and dad would have just sat back and watched everything happen without trying to step up and help? They would have gone to Dumbledore and begged to help even if we had never known you," she said as she gently pushed Harry back so that she could look at him. "I know that there have been so many horrible things that have happened in the past few years, but you must see that we finally have the chance to start over. Thanks to you the entire wizarding world can finally being to relax and live their lives. And that includes you too. Of course it will take time to come to terms with everything, but you can't just push everyone out of your life and become a hermit. There are people who care about you and love you and can't stand to be without you any longer," she finished in a pained whisper.

Harry reached up and pushed a strand of wet hair out of her face. "I don't know what I am doing with anything or where I am supposed to go from here."

"Let me help you figure it out."

Harry nodded and pulled her into his arms. "I can't even tell you how much I missed you. It was absolute torture not knowing how you were or knowing if you were okay. I spent countless night staring at your dot on my map just hoping you were safe. Then when I had heard about you and Neville trying to break into Snape's office I almost had a heart attack. What were you guys thinking?" he scolded.

"Oh no you don't!" she said as she pulled herself out of his arms. "How do you think I felt reading about how you barely escaped your little tour of the ministry or about you all breaking into Gringott's and riding a dragon off into the sunset. Or worst of all…when I saw Hagrid carrying your lifeless body back to the castle and thinking even for a moment that you were dead," she choked.

Harry looked sheepish and said, "Heh…sorry about that. I had to do something to her Voldemort back to the castle. I had told Ron, Hermione and Neville that the only way to kill him was to kill the snake and needed a way to bring Nagini to them," he said. "And the dragon needed to be set free from that place anyway. So we were doing it a favor in exchange for getting us out of there. Besides, you know we would have never heard the end of it from Hermione if we had left it in that place. As it is, I cannot be sure that she won't be forming a Dragon Liberation Foundation or something after that whole thing," he continued with a hint of humor.

Ginny began laughing with Harry and quickly found that she was unable to stop. She knew that they were both laughing to hard and loud for what his joke had warranted, but she allowed the childish giddiness overwhelm her. For the first time in a very long time she felt as though everything in the world was finally clicking right into place. It was truly the best feeling ever.


	12. Literary Discoveries

When Snape apparated onto the front porch of Prewett Manor he was quite surprised to see Harry and Ginny Weasley huddled together in the rain soaked gazebo laughing together. Alexis had asked him to arrive early for the staff meeting because she was concerned about Harry. Looking at the two of them now, however, he did not see much that would be worthy of concern.

He turned and looked over his shoulder as Alexis came out of the front door to join him on the porch.

"Well, I'll be," she muttered quietly.

"Indeed," he replied quietly. "It appears to me that he is coping just fine. Not at all the pitiful creature that you had described."

"This is most certainly not the person that I have seen myself the past two weeks. I'm afraid that the credit for this one, must be given to the girl," she said softly.

"Ah," he remarked with a small grin. "Well it seems as though Pot— er…Harry is in capable hands with Ms Weasley. Unlike most of the ridiculous young witches that I have encountered at the school, she seems to have a rather good head on her shoulders."

Alexis smiled and gestured for Snape to come inside. They were greeted by Trixie who was carrying a tray with drinks for her and Snape. She lead the way into the front sitting room where they both say in silence for a few moment sipping at their whiskey.

"What was it about the boy that had you so worried prior to Ms. Weasley's visit?" Snape asked.

"I'm not really sure actually," she began with a shrug. "He has just been harboring some very negative and downright depressing moods since he had moved in. I would have simply attributed to his grief about everything thing that has happened, except for the increasing anxiety that surfaced since the incident in Diagon Alley. Now every time I even hint at him going out or leaving the grounds in any way he completely panics. He tries not to let it show, but I can always feel it."

"Hmm. I did read about that mess with the goblins. I suppose I can chat with Shacklebolt and see what can be done about that for him. Minerva told you that he would be attending the meeting today, right?" Snape inquired.

Alexis nodded. "I wonder if that'll be enough for him. Sure that may help with the goblin issue, but I think the bigger problem was the mob of people that confronted him as soon as he arrived in Diagon Alley. I saw a bit of the craziness when he came to visit you at St Mungo's. It is not likely that these people are going to let up any time soon, especially if he remains in hiding. He needs to learn to adjust and get used to it all. Eventually people will lose interest in him, but he can't lock himself away until then."

Snape sighed. "I'm guessing that you are expecting me to do something about this?"

Alexis shot him an annoyed look. "I was hoping that maybe if you ventured out with him that you could not only help keep the crowd away, but help him feel safer going out."

"You cannot honestly expect me to believe that Harry is afraid of these people. He defeated the most evil dark wizard in this century surely he can handle his adoring fans," he scoffed.

"Ugh. Why do you have to be so difficult? Honestly. Just forget I even said anything," she said exasperatedly.

Snape was about to respond when the house echoed with the sound of the doorbell. Without another word, Alexis hurried out of the room. Snape stared after her feeling irritated. He simply did not understand why Alexis felt as though it was his job to play bodyguard for the boy. Harry has never needed anyone to hold his hand as he faced any of his tougher and exceedingly more dangerous challenges. Why would he need someone now to take him on outings like he was a school boy?

He wandered out into the foyer where he found Alexis standing with Harry, Ginny, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley and Irma Pince, the Hogwart's librarian.

"It is so nice to meet you m'am. It was so nice of you to allow Harry to stay here with you," Ginny was saying. "My mother wanted to insist that he stay with us, but I think he's much better off here without the craziness that always surrounds our house now that George, Percy and Charlie have moved back in. They swear it is only temporary, but I think mom will try to keep them there as long as she can."

"It is all my pleasure," Alexis said. "I can't tell you how nice it is to have someone here with me in this old place."

"Hello Professor Snape," Hermione said hesitantly.

Snape nodded at her. "You were able to locate your parents, I'd take it?"

"Oh…yes, sir," she replied somewhat surprised. "The charm was more easily reversed than I had feared actually."

"I had no doubts that you would be able to master it," he said off-handed. He turned his attentions towards Ginny and Ron. "I am sorry to have heard about your brother. Please pass along my condolences to your parents for me."

Ron had made no attempt to hide the shocked look from his face, but it was Ginny that responded to him.

"Of course, sir. I hope that you are feeling better yourself, sir?" she stated simply.

"Quite well now thank you," he said with a glance at Alexis.

Pointedly ignoring looking at Snape, Alexis said, "Well Irma, may I show you the library?"

Madam Pince nodded enthusiastically as Hermione spoke up, "The library?"

"Oh yes," Alexis replied. "Unfortunately the library at Hogwarts took a great bit of damage during the battle and some books were just too far beyond repair. So I offered to let Irma take a look through the library here and see if there were any books that might be able to replace the ruined ones. My father was big on collecting books and quite honestly I am not much of a reader. They would get much more use at the school."

"That's terrible," Hermione said with a look of horror. "I mean, about the books being damaged and all," she corrected quickly. "Do you mind if I have a look at your library as well? I absolutely love to read."

"Uh-oh," Ron mumbled under his breath.

"Sure," Alexis said with a smile. 'It's just along this way."

Alexis lead the way down the corridor and the group of them followed her along. Snape took up the rear walking with Ron and Harry.

"Sorry, mate," Harry said to Ron. "I didn't know that the library would be on the tour. I haven't even found it myself yet."

"Is there a problem with visiting the library?" Snape asked.

"Oh…uh…Not really a problem, I guess. As long as we don't plan on seeing Hermione for a couple days," Ron replied solemnly.

Snape hid a smirk. "I wonder why the sorting hat did not place you into Ravenclaw, Ms. Granger. You constant search for increasing your knowledge bank is not something commonly seen in your typical Gryffindor."

"Oh...um…thank you, sir. I think," Hermione mumbled. "Actually sir, the hat considered putting me in Ravenclaw and I almost became a hatstall. I am not sure what the deciding factor was, but I can't say that I am sorry. I am quick glad to be a Gryffindor," he finished proudly.

"If only just because she enjoys making the rest of look even dumber in comparison," Ron whispered to Harry.

When the entered into the library even Snape was impressed with the size of the room and the impressive collection of books. The room easily rivaled the size of the school library, except for how incredibly tall the room was. Books were filed away on shelves that stood two stories high accessed by tall ladders on wheels. There were rows upon rows of shelves off to both the left and right of the entrance. In the center of the room were several overstuffed chairs positioned in front of a massive fireplace. The walls that were not covered in bookshelves were smartly decorated with expertly done paintings and portraits. The whole place had a very warm and relaxing feel to it.

"This is incredible," Hermione whispered.

Alexis smiled. "Help yourselves. I'm afraid I have no idea how they are organized, but I' sure you guys can figure it out."

She made her way over to the chairs followed by Ginny who apparently had no desire to explore the library. Harry and Ron followed a mesmerized Hermione and Madame Pince made a beeline for the oldest looking books in the collection.

Snape found himself to be somewhat curious and began quietly inspecting the shelves. He was delighted to find that there were a great many books that he was familiar with including several potion books that he had thought were no longer available anywhere. He made a mental note to ask Alexis if he could borrow one or two as he continued along through the room.

As he made his way along the shelves he was somewhat startled when he collided with Harry who was standing looking mortified staring at a large tapestry on the wall. Snape looked at the tapestry which appeared to be a family genealogy and he saw nothing significant that would warrant the look of fear on the boy's face.

"Harry?" Snape asked hesitantly.

"This is a copy of the one that Sirius had at Grimmauld Place. Is Alexis related to Sirius?" Harry whispered.

"I have no idea. Does it matter if she is?" Snape asked.

"No.I guess not. I guess I was just surprised to see this here," Harry said slowly. "Even more surprised to see Sirius's name on it. His mother had taken his name off of the one at their house," he said as he reached up and touched the name of his deceased godfather.

"If you are looking for me on there you won't find me," a voice from behind them said bitterly.

* * *

Alexis glared at the faded tapestry in disgust. She knew that everyone was waiting for some kind of an explanation, but she wasn't sure that she felt ready to give one. What if everyone rejected her once they found out the truth of who she was? She glanced at Snape who was giving her a curious look.

"My birth parents were Lucretia Black and Ignatius Prewett. Their marriage was an arranged one, but I believe that my father did love my mother. Whether she ever returned the feelings I'll never know," she said with a sigh. "My mother's pregnancy with a difficult one that almost took her life and I was born three months premature. I was a weak sickly child and by the time I had turned three my mother had been convinced that I was a squib. She was fearful that her family would disown her if they knew that she had given birth to a squib, so she convinced my father to give me up. Then they simply told everyone that I had died. Since I had been so sick it hadn't been hard to convince everyone. It was assumed that my mother had been so distraught by it all that no one ever brought the subject up to her. She never was able to have any more children."

"Where did you go?" Harry asked.

"Well I was actually placed with a couple who couldn't have children. My adopted father, Kevin, was a muggle that worked with the royal guard in London and my mother, Angela was a squib. They were pleasant decent folks, but when I started exhibiting proof that I was not a squib things got rough with them. They both were deeply embedded in the muggle world with muggle jobs and friends and it became difficult at times to hide or explain me or things that would happen to me to everyone," she said sadly. "They never complained of course, I just felt like I was more of a burden to them than the blessing that they had been hoping for in a child. This was part of the reason that I headed to The States after Hogwart's. They were disappointed of course, but I think they understood. They passed away shortly after I left. Kevin went first from a heart attack, and then Angela a couple years later from natural causes. Or that's what I had been told."

"What brought you back here?" Ginny asked startling her. She hadn't realized that Ginny, her brother and Hermione had been standing behind her listening.

"Heh. Albus Dumbledore asked for me to come last year. He had said that things were getting bad here again and that my services would be needed. He had suggested that I take the place of a muggle-born healer for safety's sake. She was sent to take my place and I came here. I was due to go back as soon as I was no longer needed here, but the hospital I used to work for decided that they wanted to keep her on. Since St Mungo's no longer needed me, I was forced to find another job. With Madam Pomfrey retiring Minerva McGonagall sought my out to ask if I would be her replacement. Which funny enough, I think was Dumbledore's original plan although that part is just a hunch," she finished meekly.

Everyone was quiet for a moment until Ron piped up, "If you were adopted, how did you end up with this place?"

"When my mother and father had died they had not made arrangements for who they had wanted to inherit their possessions. So since I was the closest living relative everything was left to me. I'd like to think that my father had done that on purpose. He had contacted me shortly after I had started at Hogwart's, I guess because he felt guilty or something. I don't know," she stated with a sigh. "Anyway…after they both had died I had been sent a notification from the ministry that I was the only remaining heir to their fortune and their house. I had actually planned on selling the house before Dumbledore had contacted me."

Alexis wanted to melt into the floor to get away from everyone staring at her. She knew that she didn't belong here and she could only imagine how it all must look to everyone. She had never been wanted by her parents and her living in their house now much seem like such a desperate plea for acceptance from the world that had rejected her for so long. She stared at the ground trying to avoid their gazes.

"I'm so sorry," Ginny said as she stepped to Alexis side. "No wonder you didn't not want to come back here. I can't imagine how hard that all must have been for you. My mother always spoke so fondly of your father, but I am certain her opinion of him would change knowing this." She continued shaking her head. "She would be your cousin, you know. I know that she would love to meet you."

Alexis stared at Ginny in disbelief. "Why would she want to meet me? I was disowned by my family."

"No," Ginny spat back firmly. "You may have been disowned by your parents, but not the rest of your family. No one else even knew that you existed." Her eyes grew misty. "There is so few family left nowadays, we all must stick together."

Alexis nodded, mainly to appease the girl. She was young. She didn't yet understand how these pureblood families worked. Being shunned by your own parents was as good of a sign to the rest of the wizarding world that a person was bad news. No pureblood family would want to associate with an outcast like her for fear of becoming ousted themselves.

She turned and walked away from everyone as she felt her eyes beginning to fill up with tears. She knew that coming here was a bad idea. She had been foolish to think that she would be able to hide the truth about herself from everyone. It wasn't going to be long before she would be pushed to the edge of society and be forced to find a new place to hide away.

The sound of the doorbell broke through her thoughts.

"That should be Minerva. I'll leave you all to your exploring. Excuse me, please," she said as she headed towards the doors of the library.

When she reached the hallway, however, she found herself unable to stop the tears from falling. She struggled to wipe them away as they continued to fall even faster. She closed her eyes and rested her head against the wall of the hallway. She was so absorbed in trying to control her emotions that the gentle hand that squeezed her shoulder caused her to let a small shriek escape.

"Alexis," Snape said softly as she lifted her eyes to meet his dark concerned ones. "Why don't you let me greet Minerva while you…uh…take a moment to compose yourself. I believe that she was planning on arriving with the minister and I have some things to discuss with him before the others arrive."

She stared at him for a moment before nodding and saying, "Thank you. I will try to be quick."

"Take your time. There is quite a lot that to discuss with him," Snape said.

He walked away down the hall, but paused and turned to look at her when he reached the corner leading out to the foyer, "Oh…and Alexis? If you would like, Harry and I can accompany you when you go and meet with the Weasley family. I hear that Molly is a fairly decent cook, and I'm sure it would be easier for both Harry and I to handle his adoring public on a full stomach."

Without waiting for a reply he turned the corner and was quickly out of sight leaving Alexis confused and somewhat amazed. Did he just change his mind and agree to help Harry?

She shook her head and headed off towards her bedroom to freshen up. She was becoming more certain that this infuriating man was truly going to give her a permanent headache if she continued trying to figure him out.


	13. Occupational Callings

**Chapter 13 - Occupational Callings**

As Harry looked said goodbye to his friends and collapsed into the overstuffed chair in the front sitting room, he was amazed to realize that he was feeling happier than he had felt in a long time. After the surprise in the library where he had come across the Black family tree he had become so distracted that he feared he wouldn't be able to enjoy the rest of the night. However, by the time Kreacher had served them dinner amongst the flowering greenery of the conservatory and as he listened with humor to the recounting of Hermione & Ron's trip to Australia, he was pleased to realize that he had nearly forgotten about his discovery all together. Now that he had the time to sit and think about it all, he wasn't really sure why he had been so shocked by the tapestry at all. He knew that nearly all pure-bloods still around now-a-days had to be related in some way, so it just made sense that she was so closely connected to Sirius. It was nice even, to find another pure-blood descendant that wasn't completely consumed by the idea of their superiority to other wizards with "lesser quality" blood statuses.

He had been somewhat distressed to have heard about the struggles Alexis had faces as a child at the hands of her own mother. While he had only ever met two squibs in his young life, he hadn't ever considered that they would be thought of as such social outcasts in the wizarding world and worse yet as objects of shame by their own families. While it was obvious that Alexis was indeed a very talented witch he shuddered at the thought of her having to slink around at the edges of wizarding society as an unwanted exile. It was such an unpleasant thought to him that he hurried to push it from his mind before it ruined his pleasant mood.

He though instead of how happy he had been to see Ginny again. He had been terrified that she would harbor feelings of resentment towards him not only because of Fred's death, but also for him disappearing for nearly a year. It had been such a relief to finally be able to explain to her what he had been doing and be able to talk with someone about everything that had happened. While he hadn't had too much time alone with her, the thought that he could now take as much time as he wanted with her was most inspiring. He realized that he wanted to just take things slow with her so that he could savor every blissful moment.

Lost in his own thoughts, Harry almost failed to notice that he was no longer alone in the room. When the silence was broken by a deep commanding voice speaking his name he was so startled that he almost fell out of his seat.

Minister Shacklebolt laughed and apologized as Harry stood and shook his hand.

"It is good to see you, Harry. I am told that you are enjoying your new home?"

Harry nodded enthusiastically. "It is great here. Congratulations on becoming Minister of Magic, sir."

"Temporary Minister of Magic," Shacklebolt corrected. "There will be a proper election next month to elect someone properly to the position. I'm not sure that I am ready to take on the position permanently."

"I have a feeling that you aren't going to have much of a choice after the election results come in. Everyone loves you and there isn't anyone else that can get things on track like you can," Harry said confidently.

"Heh. Thanks," the minister replied. "Speaking of getting things on track, I have just finished meeting with Severus and Minerva and they have informed me that you had your sights set on becoming an Auror."

Harry shrugged and immediately felt his good mood dissolving away. It had seemed like almost a lifetime ago when he had met with Professor McGonagall and discussed his career ambitions. He had since given up those dreams after skipping out of school the previous year to hunt down the horcruxes.

"Is something wrong, Harry?" Shacklebolt asked with concern.

"No sir. I just know that I blew my chances at becoming an auror since I wasn't able to take my N.E.W.T.s this year, that's all," he mumbled quietly.

"Which is precisely one of the primary things that was discussed, thanks to Severus. He brought your situation to my attention and now thanks to him and the combined efforts of the rest of the Hogwart's staff, I believe we have come to an acceptable resolution to that little issue," he said with a sly smile.

Harry was confused. "What do you mean, sir?'

"Well, I completely understand that you and your friends had other priorities last year that interfered with your academic ambitions. So…I have decided to allow a waiver of the N.E.W.T. requirement for the Auror program for any student that participated in the fight at Hogwarts. I will be asking for recommendation letters from your professors in lieu of the testing requirements, but that will be nothing more than a formality in case of backlash from the rest of the wizarding comunity," he explained.

"Are you serious? You would do that? Why? I thought the auror program was the hardest one to get into," Harry spluttered.

Shacklebolt sighed. "To be perfectly honest, Harry, the auror department is in trouble. With me tied up with ministry duties and Dawlish on his way to Azkaban there aren't many people left to keep up with all of the many calls still coming in daily. There are still several death eaters out there that took off in the craziness of the battle after you took out Voldemort. We are trying to keep an eye out for them, but there is so much else that still needs to be done. We've called some people back from retirement to help out and we are still overwhelmed," he said in a defeated voice. "So you see, you'd probably be helping me out more so than I'd be helping you."

Harry grinned. "Yes! Of course I'm interested. I'm pretty sure that Ron would be too."

"Excellent. You might want to also contact the Longbottom boy. Severus mentioned him as a prospective recruit as well," Shacklebolt suggested.

"Snape suggested Neville? Really?" Harry asked. He had been pretty sure that Snape thought that Neville was a hopeless dimwit. There was no way that he would have suggested having Neville becoming an auror.

"Oh yes. Severus said that he had shown incredible potential throughout the school year and the battle. It was he that defeated Voldemort's snake right?" Harry nodded. "Well then. It's settled. Now, some of your teachers have offered to help us out getting you all trained up since we will sadly not have the extra hands to do so ourselves. I will be providing a curriculum to them and they will work out the schedule for training. I must warn you, though," he continued with a serious expression, "the training will be vigorous. That much cannot change. So you all must still expect to have to work harder than you have ever worked in your lives."

"Of course, sir. Thank you so much. I can't wait to tell Ron!" Harry proclaimed happily.

Shacklebolt laughed heartily. "Very good. You enjoy the rest of your evening and I shall look forward to hearing about your progress."

Harry waited until he walked away and he heard the front door shut before he turned and ran down the hall in a hurry to get to his room. He wanted to send Ron an owl right away to tell him the great news.

As he rounded the corner leading into the mall hall he was so preoccupied thinking about writing his letter that he ran straight into a very startled Snape who had been standing in the hallway talking with Professor McGonagall, and was knocked onto the floor by the impact.

"My goodness Mr. Potter, what is the rush?" McGonagall exclaimed.

Harry looked up sheepishly and grinned at the pair of them. "Uh…Sorry. I was in a hurry."

"That was obvious," Snape muttered said as he extended his hand to help Harry to his feet.

"Well, it is obvious that you are doing well here with Alexis," McGonagall said in an amused tone.

"Oh yes, Professor. I like it here a lot much better than having to stay with the Dursleys," he replied enthusiastically.

"And yet you keep yourself just as locked away here as you often had been there," Snape said snidely.

Harry gaped at him. It's true that he hadn't ventured out of the house much since the day at Diagon Alley when he had been mobbed by Goblins and excited shoppers, but that was just because he had been enjoying the peace and quiet here at the manor. Even as he tried to form the words to refute this claim he knew that it was a pretty lame excuse. He had been trying to hide from the world here at the manor. He didn't feel ready yet to tackle another anxious crowd of admirers just yet.

Professor McGonagall glanced back and forth at the two of them in confusion and then said, "I'm not sure what that is about, but I think we have some news that may be of some interest to you. We just met with Minister Shacklebolt and—"

"I actually just ran into him myself Professor. He told me about the Auror internship," Harry interrupted.

"Oh. Well then. Professor Snape and I will be working to get a schedule together and you should be getting an owl from us soon. I think the general idea right now is that all of the training will need to be held at Hogwart's to minimize the disruptions of the increased workload on the professors that will be helping out with the training. This will most likely mean that you will be staying at the castle for the duration of the training. But we are still working out the logistics of it all," she finished tiredly.

"The physical training will be starting before the school year, which will mean that we will need to get the ministry paperwork, health screenings and clearances finished soon. I will be going to the ministry next week to take care of some things. I will escort you and your fellow trainees through the paperwork and clearance processes at that time," Snape said.

"We will be sending out notifications to your fellow classmates that we feel are qualified to participate in the program immediately. This is a very rare opportunity that you are being given so I would advise you to take it seriously and be ready to work harder than you have ever worked before. Don't be thinking that you will be able to skate through just because of whom you are and what you have done," McGonagall warned.

Harry nodded. "Yes, ma'm. I understand."

"Excuse me," Trixie the house elf interrupted. "Mistress asked me to tells you that dessert is now served."

"Thank you," McGonagall said with a smile. "Would you care to join us Harry?"

"Uh. No thank you. I already ate. I actually think I am going to head up to bed," he replied.

She smiled and both she and Snape turned to walk back to the dining room.

Harry watched them walk away and just as they both disappeared into the room he called out, "Sir?"

Snape turned and looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

"Thank you," he said shakily. "Kingsley told me that you talked with him and are largely responsible for this Auror thing happening. I do appreciate it, sir."

Snape sneered as if he was going to spit out one of his caustic remarks, but then he paused and the sour expression melted off his face. "Just don't make me regret it," he mumbled. "And be ready to work for it."

Without waiting for a response Snape spun around and walked into the dining hall closed the door behind him leaving Harry staring after him wondering, not for the first time if he would ever become accustomed to this new version of the man that had once hated him so fiercely.

* * *

By the time everyone had left the manor it was nearly midnight. Alexis retired to her room, but she wasn't feeling the slightest bit tired. So much had been discussed throughout the night that she couldn't seem to get her brain to settle down.

The Hogwart's staff had pretty much decided to attempt to just forget that the previous year even happened. They were going to have the students repeat the year that they had attended under Voldemort's control of the school thus allowing the muggle-borns who were not permitted to attend to remain on the same level as their classmates. Of course the issue was brought up about what to do with the students who already learned the material covered in the previous year, and it was agreed that the curriculum could be altered some to make accommodations for any students that had already learned the covered materials. It was not the ideal situation, but many of the teachers agreed that they had been forced under the new "rules" brought forth under Voldemort's reign to drastically change the topics taught to the students. There were very few professors that seemed to be particularly worried about having to reteach materials.

The biggest obstacle that had to be discussed was the first year students. Since they were having the students re-take their first year, how would they handle the incoming first year students? It was decided that they would simply have to have a larger than usual first year class. Many of the classrooms should be able to accommodate a larger class but others would either have to be split up into separate classes or else moved to larger classrooms that would hold more students. Everyone agreed that the next few years at Hogwarts were going to be quite chaotic, but that this was the necessary steps to take in order to assure that all of the students get the magical education that they deserve.

For the most part these changes and revisions to the school curriculum had very little effect on Alexis and the job that she would be required to do. She would be singlehandedly responsible for the heath of every one of those students. She remembered from her years at the school the numerous classroom accidents that she had witnessed. Things like cauldron explosions caused by misbrewed potions, grotesque transfiguration accidents and various bites and stings from exotic creatures were just the beginning of things that she will have to be able to handle. It would be the first time in her career that she would have no colleagues to confer with or consult about cases. Everything would be completely up to her and she was really starting to get nervous.

Alexis took several deep breaths and began trying to calm down her frazzled nerves. She knew that she was a very skilled healer and she had never before had any reason to doubt herself. She had been trained by some of the very best healers in the world and had never had any complaints or incidents against her throughout her entire career.

Sadly none of these reassurances were able to help ease her anxieties. She felt as though there was a whole lot more riding on this job than any other position she had held. She was back in the world where she had initially been rejected thanks to her own parents and she was feeling as if she needed to work harder than everyone to prove that she was competent.

She sighed deeply, crawled deeper under her covers and tried to put her fears out of her mind. Within minutes she was asleep and the nightmare began. She was standing in the Hogwart's sick bay that was overcrowded with students complaining of ailments and injuries that Alexis had never seen or heard of before. She kept trying to treat them but was only managing to make their conditions worse. More and more students came into the room until Alexis was unable to move through the crowd. She felt herself begin to cry a literal river of tears that began pooling on the floor. The tears she cried began to flood the room and was soon threatening to drown the sick and wounded children. Unfortunately this only caused her to cry harder until the salty tears were up to her throat. Just before she was completely consumed under the ocean of her own tears she heard the sinister laugh. She caught a glimpse of the source of the laughter as her head was finally submerged.

Alexis woke up with a small scream as she gasped for breath. She struggled to compose herself but found that she could not get the image of those dark piercing eyes or the sound of his taunting laughter from her mind. She did not know why, but somehow she knew at that moment that the person she most felt would be watching her and expecting her to fail, was the very man that she had helped nurse back to health and whom had already been responsible her loss of sleep over the course of many troubling years.


	14. Buried Paperwork

**Chapter 14 - Buried Paperwork**

Snape shifted uncomfortably in his chair and sipped carefully at the hot tea. He waited as the woman to set down the tray of biscuits and poured cups of tea for herself and her grandson. Snape could not help but notice how the boy kept an almost protective eye on his grandmother as she moved stiffly around the room.

"I must admit, Professor, that I was shocked to get your owl requesting a visit. You wanted to discuss my grandson?" Augusta Longbottom said as she sat down.

Snape cleared his throat. "Yes ma'm. Minister Shacklebolt has agreed to allow select students that participated in the battle at Hogwarts, entry into a revised auror training program. Unfortunately there is currently a shortage of aurors after everything that has happened and they desperately need to train up new wizards to take their place. Because of the shortages, the Hogwart's professors have agreed, under the direction of Minister Shacklebolt of course, to take charge of the training and conditioning of these new recruits. So, I have come here to see if Mr. Longbottom would be interested in joining the program," he finished.

"Me? You think I should become an auror?" Neville asked in surprise.

"Quiet boy!" He grandmother scolded. "You believe that my Neville could become an auror like his father? I was under the impression that his O.W.L scores would have disqualified him for an auror job. You are also aware, I'm sure, that that he did not have the opportunity to take his N.E.W.T.s with all of the funny business last term."

"Shacklebolt has agreed to wave testing requirements for anyone who participated in the battle." Snape said. "And yes, based on what I observed this past year both in school and what I heard about him during the battle, I suspect that Mr. Longbottom would do reasonably well as an auror. While I do believe that the lessons might prove to be much more of a challenge for him in comparison to his classmates, I think that he could excel if he chose to."

After sitting in an uncomfortable silence for several moments, Augusta said, "Well? What's it going to be, Neville?"

"Yea! I would be happy to give it a go," Neville proclaimed. "Thank you, sir."

Snape bowed his head slightly and said, "Just remember what I said. This will not be easy so you will need to be prepared for a difficult program. I will not tolerate anything less than the best."

"Yes sir," Neville said with a gulp.

"Very well. You will need to meet me at the ministry on Monday to begin the registration and clearance processes. I will be owling you copies of the training schedules and materials needed as soon as I hear back from Minister Shacklebolt," Snape instructed him as he stood up.

"You aren't leaving without finishing your tea are you, Professor?" Augusta asked.

"I am afraid I do not have the time to linger much longer madam," Snape said sincerely. "All of the changes at Hogwart's for this upcoming semester have left me with a small mountain of paperwork to conquer. I do appreciate you allowing me an audience to speak with you both and really enjoyed the tea & biscuits."

After saying their final goodbyes and leaving the house Snape returned back to his home in Spinner's End. When he arrived he immediately realized that something was not as it should be. His door was glowing read which could only have meant that some had set of the Intruder Charm that he always kept around his house.

Snape immediately drew his wand and began checking the rest of his defensive charms around the house. Once he was certain that everything was as it should be he concealed his wand under his sleeve and did a thorough check of the outside perimeter of his house. Seeing nothing out of the ordinary, Snape retreated back inside of his house and decided that it must have been a muggle salesman or something.

Snape fixed himself a cup of tea and headed into his sitting room to get some work. He first had to finish the letters that needed to be sent out to the Hogwart's students explaining the changes for the upcoming term. It had been decided that due to the many disruptions and interferences throughout the previous term that the students would be repeating that year. While some of the students might be subjected to repeat assignments and lessons the teachers would make every attempt to change things up.

The increase of students would provide a few logistical issues with class sizes and sleeping arrangements but he had already contacted the freemasons and requested the necessary changes. Since it was only the first year class that would be unnaturally large there had only been a few classes that needed to enlarged. He didn't think that too much would have to be done to the dormitories since most of them held considerably less students than what they had originally been constructed for. He had asked for additional rooms in all of the houses anyway just to keep the students from overcrowding themselves.

When he had finished with the letters he began sorting through the many owls that he had received from Minister Shacklebolt regarding the auror program. Charms, potions, transfiguration and defense were all within the realm of the teachers currently teaching at the school. While the requirements in all of those areas were well beyond what the professors would normally teach at school he did not think any of it would be too difficult for any of them.

The difficult part would be finding someone that could help with the less familiar things that was required for the program like law, ethics, basic healing & lifesaving. That's not to mention the physical conditioning. He supposed he was just going to have to address it with his colleagues to see if any of them were willing to step up and help out with the other lessons. He was going to have to ask Kingsley if he had any lessons plans that he could send him. He figured that it would be prudent for him to read up on these subjects as well since he would most likely be the one that got stuck with the extra instruction.

How was it that he got tricked into managing this whole thing again? His life was already being overwhelmed by it all, and he doubted that it was going to get any better. Much to his surprise, however, he realized that he was hardly as irritated by it as he had expected.

* * *

Ginny Weasley sat in her room replaying the events of the last week. She felt like such a horrible person for being so happy. She knew that everyone was still trying to deal with Fred's death and everything else that had happened recently, but the precious moments that she had spent with Harry kept intruding into her thoughts. While she couldn't help but think that she hadn't had much time to actually sit and talk with him she was exceptionally grateful that she would now have all the time she wanted to spend with him.

With a shudder she remembered those horrible moments when she had thought that he had been killed. It had been as if someone had reached into her chest about ripped her still beating heart out of her chest. She had never known such pain. She remembered tightness in her chest that had made it so difficult to breath and suddenly she hadn't been able to see anything clearly. At that moment, nothing else had mattered to Ginny. She remembered thinking that they had lost and that there was nothing else to go on for. She had been utterly and totally defeated and had just wanted to lie down and give up.

Ginny shook her head and forced those thoughts out of her head. Harry was alive. Hurting and damaged, but alive. They all were. There was no place to go but onward towards the future where they could all help each other heal.

"Ginny! Come help with dinner," her mother yelled from downstairs.

With a sigh Ginny jumped off her bad and headed downstairs. Mealtimes at the Weasley house used to be loud boisterous affairs with lots of laughing and talking. Since Fred's death it had become a somber depressing affair.

No one had bothered to remove Fred's chair from the table yet, and her mother continued setting a place setting for him as if she half expected him to come running into the kitchen at any moment. She had tried gently discouraging her from doing this, but was promptly silenced and never brought the issue up again.

Percy's presence at the table certainly didn't help things. While everyone had said that they had forgiven Percy for deserting the family, it was obvious, to Ginny at least, that their father continued to hold on to some of his anger towards him. This, she reasoned, could only be expected since he had taken the worst of Percy's backlash. Some pretty hurtful things had been thrown at her father and she knew that it was going to take time for her father to forget what had been said. More healing and repairing.

When Ginny walked into the kitchen she saw that her mother had already set the table, Fred's place included. There was also an additional place setting at the table as well.

"Are we having company?" Ginny asked.

Her mother paused in her taste testing. "Huh?"

"There is an extra chair and place setting. I was wondering who was coming to dinner," she explained.

"Oh. Ron invited Hermione over for dinner, although I was quite surprised by it. I would have thought that she wouldn't have wanted to spend time with her parents. But it's no matter," her mother replied.

This news brightened her mood considerably. If Hermione was here everyone would put on their best "everything is all right with the world" faces for the meal.

Sure enough as soon as Hermione arrived at The Burrow, everyone put on the airs. Everyone chatted nicely throughout dinner and made attempts at humor and lightheartedness. Ginny was sure that Hermione saw right through the ruse much like she did herself.

When dinner was finished, Ginny raced back up to her room. Just as she turned on her wireless to listen to some music and write a letter to Harry, there was a soft knock on her door.

"Yes?"

Hermione opened the door and poked her head into the room. "Hey. Are you busy?"

"Not at all. Come on it," Ginny replied. "I would have thought that you would be hanging around with Ron."

Hermione shrugged her shoulders. "I will be. I just wanted to talk with you a bit."

"Is everything ok?" Ginny asked slowly. She truly hoped that this was not relationship issues that she was needed to talk about. As much as she loved her friend and her brother, she really didn't need to hear about intimate details about their relationship.

"Not really," Hermione started as she sat down on the bed next to her friend. "You know how I altered my parents' memories and made them believe they always had wanted to go live in Australia?"

Ginny nodded. "Of course I do. That's where you and Ron went. To fix their memories and bring them home."

"Right. Well I am worried that I might have done something wrong when I reversed the spell," she said sadly.

Ginny studied her friend carefully. "I highly doubt that, Hermione. In all of the years that I have known you I have never known you to incorrectly cast even the most difficult spell. What makes you think that you did something wrong? Ron had told me that they had remembered you and even had been angry at you when they found out what you had done."

"Well yea. I dunno. They do seem to have all of their memories back. The thing is they seem to have more than their old memories back. They seemed to have memories of things that they hadn't had before," she replied.

"Do you mean the ones that you had given them? Isn't this normal? That book that you read about it had mentioned it right?" Ginny asked in confusion.

"Right. But what if my spell hadn't been the only that was reversed?" Hermione asked quietly.

"Merlin's beard, Hermione, what in the world are you talking about?!" Ginny spat.

"When I undid the memory spell on my parent's they suddenly remembered something else that they had forgotten," she said as a tear rolled down her cheek. "They told me that I had been adopted."


	15. Scared Senseless

**Chapter 15 - Scared Senseless**

Harry barely even had the chance to step out of the telephone booth that served as the visitor's entrance to the ministry before he attracted attention. A plump middle aged witch ran up to up him immediately and began shrieking.

"OOO! Harry Potter! What a pleasure to see you here! I can't believe that I am meeting you! Me and my family cannot thank you enough for everything you have done," the woman explained excitedly.

Naturally this woman's loud behavior called everyone else's attention and Harry was soon engulfed in a crown of adoring, grateful and overwhelming witches and wizards. He attempted several times to excuse himself stating that he had business that he needed to be attending, but his pleas feel on deaf ears. He even attempted to push his way through the mass of people only resulting in him being pushed back.

The crowd grew larger and larger and Harry began to feel panicky. He tried to look through the crowd for a familiar face, but had no such luck. He was supposed to have been meeting Professor Snape and his former classmates to begin the process of enrolling in the auror program. He searched desperately to try to catch a glimpse of the familiar scowling face as he began to feel the tightness in his chest that threatened to restrict his breathing.

Harry began taking small careful steps backward towards the gilded fireplaces that lined the forum. The crowd of people followed his movement, pressing themselves in closer to him. When he at last felt the pointed corner of a mantle pressing into his shoulder he very quickly ducked into the fireplace and shouted the first thing that came to his mind.

Once he had stopped spinning and was shot out of the fireplace he immediately realized that something was seriously wrong. It was as if he had arrived in a completely dark and empty room. He tried to blink his eyelids to clear his vision, but saw only a pressing sort of darkness. There was no sound even when he attempted to speak aloud. He tried to reach for his wand, but found that he had no sensation in his fingers, hands, feet or anywhere else.

He thought for a moment about what he possibly could have done wrong, before remembering what Kreacher had said about Grimmauld Place not being safe. How could he have been so stupid? He had been so determined to get away from the crowd at the ministry that he had forgotten about the warning he had been given by his elf.

Concentrating hard as he could he attempted to disapparate out of the house but felt no change. He tried to summon Kreacher but could not get his mouth to work. He wanted to walk or even crawl his way to the front door or back to the fireplace, but found himself unable to move with the lack of feeling in his extremities.

He knew that he had been foolish in running off and was only left to hope that his absence would be quickly noticed. His heart sank as he realized that it could very well be quite a long time before he was discovered, and if someone were foolish enough to search for him here they would most likely be struck with the same afflictions as he was. He knew without a doubt that he had gotten himself into a hopeless situation.

* * *

When Snape arrived at the ministry he was much annoyed to see that Harry had not yet arrived. He had been certain that he had been quite clear with the time. Looking at the small gathering he took a quick mental roll call. Ron Weasley, Seamus Finnegan, Dean Thomas and Neville Longbottom were all patiently waiting for him to provide them with further instruction.

He had delayed nearly twenty minutes before resigning that it was unfair for the others to be kept waiting, especially considering how many things needed to be accomplished.

"Come along. Let's get this all over with. I have much better things that I could be doing that would not involve babysitting," Snape grumbled.

"Um…sir? Shouldn't we wait until Harry gets here?" Neville asked.

Snape shook his head. "Mr. Potter was informed, the same as the rest of you, of the importance of today's errands. It is not my concern if he chose not to grace us with his presence."

"I know Harry will be here. He owled me just last night to make sure I was coming," Ron argued.

"Obviously he has changed his mind," Snape sneered. "Now, should we proceed?"

"Should we at least call on him, sir? To at least make sure that he is ok?" Neville pressed.

"I will inquire about him once I have deposited you at the auror office to begin the paperwork for your security clearances," he resigned with an annoyed sigh.

Everyone seemed appeased by this and followed him to the lift. Snape was incredibly annoyed by Harry's absence. This all had been arranged, after all, for the boy's benefit so his failure to show when he had been required to do so felt like a personal slap in Snape's face.

True to his word he made his way straight to one of the apparation patios on the ground floor that was used by ministry employees to report to and from work. He only had to wait for several minutes before it was his turn and quickly found himself at the end of the lane at Prewett Manor.

Trying to keep him irritation in check he quickly made his way up the lane to the front door which was answered promptly after he had rung the bell. When the door swung open he was greeted not by Alexis as he had been hoping, but Trixie the house elf who bowed and ushered him inside.

"I need to speak with Mr. Potter. If you could fetch him here for me," Snape said smartly.

Trixie bowed her head and replied, "Master Harry is not here, sir. He left earlys this morning for his appointments at the Ministry, sir."

Snape stared at the elf in confusion. "Surely you are mistaken. Mr. Potter did not arrive for his scheduled appointment. Is your mistress home?"

Trixie looked up at Snape with alarm. "No sir. Mistress Alexis had business to attend to herself and left shortly after Master Harry, sir."

"Very well then, please inform Alexis that I called and inform her that Mr. Potter missed his engagements at the ministry," Snape said shaking his head. Trixie bowed deeply and led Snape back through the hall and out the door. Snape made his way back down the lane beyond the reach of the protection charms around the property in order to disapparate back to the ministry. With each stride he took he did his very best to try to quell the growing uneasiness that was growing in his stomach.

* * *

Harry had been very much unaware of how much time had passed at he laid on the floor in the kitchen of Grimmauld Place. In all honesty there was very little that he was aware of. The absence of all of his senses had begun to take a very serious and alarming toll on his mind.

It had only taken but a mere half an hour for the hallucinations to begin. The tricks that his mind played on him took him to believe that he were, first back in the Dursley's cupboard under the stairs, then to the graveyard when Voldemort had first been resurrected and then to various moments of the battle at Hogwarts. He was forced to relive the worst moments of his life and to all of them were added new elements of horror in the form of all of the people that he loved and cared for most throughout his life taunting and accusing him of the most dreadful things.

He had tried desperately at first to keep in mind where he was, but was very quickly overwhelmed by his addled mind. The constant roar in his ears did nothing to lessen the viciousness of his altered memories.

His mind did not only show him his own memories. He was most particularly confused as he saw in his mind images that he knew for certain were not his own. He saw Alexis crying in her sitting room while Snape paced back and forth in front of her. He was not sure what he was seeing but it seemed to him that Snape was very angry with her. Other times the images took on the forms of his friends Ron, Neville, Seamus and Dean whispering to each other across a long table in a grey room. Still other images showed him of a horrific fire that was quickly consuming a very drab and dark room and he felt fear for the unknown inhabitants of the house.

Unfortunately for him these images were fleeting and he was not allowed to dwell on them before they were gone and replaced with the memories that he very much wished to forget. As the tears rolled unfeelingly down his cheeks, his mental turmoil continued causing him such enormous amounts of pain that he wanted nothing more than to let himself pass through the veil and be done with it all.

* * *

The afternoon passed by excruciatingly slow as Snape escorted the auror prospects through ministry making sure that everything was properly taken care of. When he had arrived back from Prewett Manor he met up with the recruits whom were all engrossed in their security clearance and background check paperwork. They next had gone to the security office where they had their pictures taken and issued their ministry identification cards and badges. The last stop on their visit was to the department of mysteries to complete several personality inventories and behavioral assessments.

As soon as everyone had successfully completed their required tasks for the day and Snape had sent them off with notice to expect an owl from him with further instructions, he rushed off to Prewett Manor. He could barely explain his anxiety as his rung the bell and waited to be greeted. He tried reassuring himself by insisting that he was still angry that Mr. Potter chose not to grace them with his presence. He would, he reasoned, find the insufferable boy engaging in some ridiculous activity completely ignorant to all of his obligations as soon as he went inside the house.

All of these thoughts quickly vanished as the door opened and he was witness to the worry and anxiety etched on Alexis's face.

"Oh Severus! Please tell me that Harry was just dreadfully late and met you at the ministry," she exclaimed.

"I am afraid not," Snape replied. "Are you quite sure that the ministry was his destination when he left this morning?"

Alexis nodded as she lead Snape into the house and into the front sitting room. "He even left here early saying that he wanted to stop by Mr. Weasley's office since he hadn't seen him since Fred's funeral."

"Well perhaps he got distracted after meeting with Arthur," Snape mused. "Let me check in with him."

Snape knelt in front of the fireplace threw powder down, stuck his head through the green flames and said, "The Burrow."

Within seconds he found himself peering out of the fireplace into a small cramped kitchen with a wooden table and mismatched chairs. He was just about to call out to get someone's attention when he heard a voice speak his name.

"Severus! You startled me!" Molly Weasley shrieked. "What can we do for you?" she continued after she caught her breath.

"I'm sorry to bother you, but I need to speak with Arthur as soon as is possible if he is available," Snape recited.

"Of course! I do hope everything is well," she asked with concern.

"That is yet to be determined," he replied grimly.

Molly faced paled and she quickly left the kitchen calling out for her husband. She returned quickly with Arthur who knelt down in front of the fire.

"Good evening, Severus. Molly said that you needed to speak to me?" Arthur said nodded at the man and said, "I'm terribly sorry to disturb you at home, but I need to know if you saw Harry today."

Arthur looked confused. "Harry? No sir. I have not seen Harry since Fred's funeral. Why would I have seen him?"

"Alexis had told me that Harry had intended to stop by your office for a visit before he met up with me. Since he had failed to make his appointment with me I had been hoping that he had just gotten sidetracked after visiting with you," Snape said with an obvious tone of disappointment.

"But where could he have gotten off to?" Molly cried out from behind her husband.

"I have no idea, madam, but I will find out," Snape said stiffly.

"Please let us know when you have found him," Arthur requested.

"Of course," Snape replied. "For now, if you'll excuse me, I will leave you."

When he backed out of the fireplace, he saw that Alexis was sitting down and appeared to be crying. Being particularly unaccustomed to being in the presence of an upset female, aside to the occasional incompetent female student that would burst into tears after his correcting their failed attempt at some potion or another, he began pacing back and forth in front of the fireplace. He did his best to try to think of any and every place that the boy could have gotten off to, but was met with no ideas. All of his best friends had been at the ministry with him all day and seemed truly worried and surprised by his absence.

Alexis sniffed somberly and looked up at the pacing man, "Where could he have gone, Severus? I fear that something dreadful has happened to him!"

Snape was about to reply when Trixie entered the room bringing a tray of tea. He stared at the elf as she went about the business of readying tea for the both of them.

As soon as the elf left the room he turned to Alexis and asked, "Did Harry make Kreacher swear his allegiance to you and Prewett Manor when he came here?"

"No," she exclaimed in surprise. "What does that have to anything?"

"Kreacher!" he called. The elderly elf appeared in front of Snape immediately. "Where is Harry?" Snape demanded.

Kreacher's eyes grew bigger and he began shaking his head and muttering, "Bad place, sir. Master Harry is in a very bad place."

"Where? You must take us to him," Snape barked.

"Kreacher cannot take you, sir," he replied adamantly. "Kreacher would be stuck like Master Harry is."

Snape felt his stomach drop. Where in the world would Harry be where even a house elf could not retrieve him?

"Where is this place Kreacher?" Alexis asked fearfully.

"Master Harry is at Grimmauld Place, the home of my former mistress." Kreacher said. "Kreacher told him it was not safe, but he wents anyway."

"Not safe how?" Snape snapped at the elf.

"It is cursed. Bad curse. Kreacher could not see or hear or feel. Kreacher could barely get out," he muttered as he shook his head.

"The sensibus curse," Snape mumbled in horror.

Alexis's head snapped up and she met Snape's eyes. "You can't be serious! That would be enough to drive him completely mad in as little an hour or so!" she cried.

He resumed his pacing in front of the fireplace as his he fought back a tidal wave of emotions. He was so angry that Harry had foolishly gone back to that house despite being warned away from it. Typical Gryffindor foolishness!

"Which means we need to get over there now," he said grimly.


	16. Rescue Me

**Chapter 16 - Rescue Me**

When Alexis arrived in the darkened street in front of Number 12 Grimmauld she was nearly knocked off her feet by the tidal wave of fear and despair emanating from inside of the house. If Severus hadn't been standing so close to her and had been able to stabilize her by grabbing her by the elbow, she would have fallen to her knees by the force of the emotions.

"What's wrong? Are you ill?" Severus asked in alarm.

The concern for her well-being coming from him allowed her to mentally collect herself and straighten up.

"I'm ok. But Harry is not. I can feel him from out here. He is scared, confused and has given up," she muttered.

As she looked up at Severus she saw his face change from gentle concern to angry determination. He nodded at her dropped her arm and walked up to the front door of the cursed house.

"I would stay back a bit as I try to break through these curses. Unfortunately, it is a common practice for death eaters to layer curses one on top of the other in order to make them harder to break through," he stated grimly.

Alexis nodded and took several steps backward as Severus raised his wand and started to mutter to himself. She watched in anticipation as he softly spoke one spell after another and she could sense his growing frustration as each failed to counteract the curse that was holding Harry in it's grips.

Finally after what felt like hours she sensed the overwhelming relief flowing off of him that signified to her that the magical barriers had been broken through. She ran up the steps ready to burst into the house and was surprised when she was blocked from the door by his out-stretched arm.

"Hey! Come on we need to get in there!" she gasped.

Severus took a deep breath and said, "I understand, however, neither of us will be any good to Harry if we barge on in and get ourselves maimed or killed by whatever physical traps might be waiting for us inside, now will we?"

Alexis took a careful step back from his arm and said desperately, "So what do you suggest? His pain has intensified to a disturbing level with the sudden return of his senses, which means we need to get to him, like now."

"Since I know this house fairly well and know what to look for, I will go in and get him, while you wait here for us to come back out," he said fiercely.

She stared up at him in astonishment. Did he truly expect her to just sit here helplessly waiting to for them to come back out? But even as the question formed insider her head she sensed his resolve and determination as he carefully opened the door and proceeded inside the dark house.

She waited for several very long moments to allow Severus to be able to advance far enough inside the house, before she drew her wand and silently followed him. She found herself in a long dark hallway but saw no sight of either Harry or Severus. She slowly made her way down the hallway listening carefully for any signs of either of them.

As she crept closer she began to hear a soft, but distant whimpering, which apparently had caught the attention of Severus as he appeared at the end of the hallway from what she soon noticed was a dining room, and startled Alexis.

"I thought I told you to wait outside," Severus snarled in a whisper.

Alexis did not bother to give him and answer as she gestured towards the small staircase leading down at the very end of the hall. With a sigh Severus turned and began to lead the way down the steps.

The staircase was dark and narrow, which prohibited her from seeing around Severus as they made their way down into the kitchen. The sound of the violent curses that erupted out of his mouth however as he entered the kitchen and caught sight of Harry lying on the floor turned was enough to turn her blood to ice.

As Severus ran to his side, Alexis could see that Harry was curled up in the fetal position trying to simultaneously hold his arms over his eyes and his ears. He was covered in cuts and bruises most likely caused by him flopping around the cramped kitchen unable to feel anything, and he was mumbling incoherently to himself.

For several agonizing moments, Alexis found herself frozen in place unsure of what she needed to do. The fears and insecurities that she had experienced in her nightmare all came flooding back to her. How in the world was she supposed to know what to do to help Harry? This was way out of her area of expertise.

As the tears began welling up in her eyes, she caught sight of Severus talking quietly to Harry in a soothing voice being careful not to touch him or doing anything to over-stimulate his already strung-out senses. Standing there watching him, he saw him lift his his head and he met her gaze. In that brief moment his eyes acted as open portal to his heart and his feelings showing her an unmistakable plea for help mixed with what she could only describe as absolute trust in her and her abilities. She felt her fear melt away and her feet unfroze from the floor as she rushed to kneel beside Severus.

"We have to get him out of here," Severus whispered.

Alexis nodded. "It doesn't seem like he's physically hurt besides these superficial scratches, but I really am worried about trying to move him like this. If his senses aren't acclimated slowly, his mind could just shut down and just start blocking everything out which could lead to permanent damage."

"Well where should we bring him? I really don't want to bring him to St Mungo's. He really doesn't need the kind of publicity that would bring," Severus mused.

"We can bring him back to the manor," Alexis decided. "It'll be much easier for us to control the environment, plus it'll be more comfortable for him there when he wakes."

She looked down upon the still writhing Harry and waved her wand over his body to do a cursory diagnostic check to assure herself that he wasn't physically harmed. She then silently cast her mood stabilizing charm over him, and was pleased when she saw his trembling cease.

"The protection charms that Black had established on the house are still standing strong, which means we will have to get him outside to apparate. Do you think he'll be able to handle a side-along?" Severus asked.

Alexis didn't answer him. Instead she touched her wand lightly to Harry's forehead and muttered, "Soporium"

As she had hoped, Harry's mutterings simmered out and his body stopped the writhing. His breathing evened out and his face showed signs of being at peace and calm.

"A sleeping charm? Impressive. Those are not easy to master," Severus commented quietly.

"I've had a lot of practice at it working with children. I don't usually like to try it on adults since it is harder to regulate, but I really don't see any other option right now," she relied.

Severus very gingerly scooped up the sleeping Harry, as Alexis stood and began to lead the way up the stairs and back into the dark hallway.

Walking towards the front door she found herself looking around and taking in her surroundings. She was suddenly very much aware that this was the house of her mother's brother. She had heard stories about the Black family and what they were like, but being inside this house really seemed to reiterate the type of people that they truly had been. For so long, she had longed to be a part of the family that she had been exiled from, but as she walked through the house she began to feel as if maybe she had been lucky to have not been associated with these kind of people. She couldn't help but wonder how much different of a person she may have turned out to be.

Shaking her head to clear the thoughts from her mind she glanced behind her and saw Severus looking awkward as he tried to hold Harry away from his body. She wasn't sure if he was just feeling weird holding the sleeping boy or if he was just trying to minimize contact for the sake of Harry's senses. Regardless of his reasons she could feel the intense worry and fear that he was struggling to mask for this young man that he had spent so much time despising. She also sensed confusion, exhaustion and even some guilt. For some unexplainable reason, the mess of emotions that Severus was juggling brought a small smile to Alexis's face that she hoped would go unnoticed as they reached the sidewalk outside and disapparated to the safety of the manor.

* * *

The headache that finally woke Harry was easily the worst he had ever experienced. He forced his eyes open and was surprised to see that he was back in his room at Prewett Manor. No. That couldn't be. The last thing he knew he had been stranded at Grimmauld Place. So how did he end up here?

He sat up in bed, which he immediately knew was the wrong thing to do. The pain in his head became too much and he began to vomit over the side of his bed. Once the contents of his stomach was expelled onto the floor he brought himself back up and laid down on his bed trying not to move his head too much more than necessary.

He heard his bedroom door open, but he didn't dare trying to move to see who it was in case he became nauseous again.

"How are you feeling, Harry?" Alexis whispered as she knelt next to the bed so he could see her.

He tried to shake his head but instead whispered, "My head hurts."

"I imagine it does," she replied sympathetically. She reached over him and produced a glass full of a bright blue liquid. "Here. Severus was kind enough to brew this up for you."

A million questions were trying to formulate in his aching brain, but he pushed them aside as he accepted the cup and drank the bitter, cool liquid. The potion began to work almost immediately. The dizziness began to subside, his stomach settled and the pounding in his brain faded away. He sighed in relief as he relaxed into his pillow and looked around his room.

He was surprised to see Professor Snape standing next to his bed. He supposed he was probably cross with him for missing his appointments and immediately realized that he had most likely blown his chances at the auror program. He shut his eyes to avoid meeting his gaze and wished that he could just disappear. After everything Snape had done to help him out, he had gone and gotten himself in a bind and ruined it all.

"Are you going to be ill again?" Snape asked quietly.

"No, sir," he murmured without opening his eyes. "How did I get here?"

"When you didn't show up at the Ministry, Severus came to the house looking for you. When Kreacher told us where you were we hurried to find you." Alexis said softly. "Thankfully he was able to break through the curses."

"Harry," Snape began, "What in the world prompted you to go back to that house despite Kreacher's warnings? Do you truly have a death wish?"

"Severus…" Alexis said with a warning tone.

"It's ok. I know I was stupid," Harry said feeling as though he needed to defend Alexis. "I was just trying to get away from the people at the ministry and didn't stop and think."

"What people?" Snape asked sharply.

Harry opened his eyes fearfully and looked up at Snape. "I'm not sure, sir. There was a crowd of people who kept asking me questions and wanting to talk to me. As more people arrived at the Ministry they just joined in. I-I- panicked. I tried to get through the crowd, but they just kept pushing me back, so I just backed up until I was a fireplace and went to the first place that I could think of."

Harry closed his eyes waiting to be scolded for his thoughtlessness, but all that followed was silence. He slowly opened his eyes and saw Alexis and Snape engaged in some sort of silent exchange of looks and expressions. Much to his surprise and amusement it looked as though Alexis was winning, since Snape was wearing a grim and almost guilty expression.

After what seemed like forever Snape finally spoke, "This is a situation that I should have better anticipated. Be certain that I will be speaking to Kingsley about this although I doubt there is much that can be done. Until further notice, Harry, it might be best if you do not venture out in the wizarding public without having someone with you. While it may not stop these imbeciles from harassing you, it may be enough to help you get out of such situations in the future."

Harry nodded his head feeling relieved. He supposed he should have been upset that he was still being treated like a child, but couldn't think about it like that. He had been avoiding going out anywhere since the incident at Diagon Alley for precisely this reason and he felt certain that he wouldn't be so intimidated if he had someone with him.

As he pondered this, another more pressing issue intruded in on his musings.

"Sir," he began timidly, "Am I out of the auror program now?"

Snape looked at him with a bewildered expression. "Whatever do you mean boy? Surely you do not think that this would disqualify you in some way!"

Harry didn't look at him. "I missed the appointments that you set up," he mumbled.

"Oh. Well I don't see anything stopping you from heading to the ministry in a couple days to accomplish what needs to be done. I daresay, that no one will dare deny you anything," he said dryly.

Harry immediately began to feel his pulse quicken at the thought of having to go to the Ministry again so soon. Even with someone with him, he wasn't sure if he wanted to face those people again.

The sound of Alexis's voice interrupted his thoughts. "What's wrong Harry?"

Thankfully he was saved from answering when Snape spoke up. "I will come by to pick you up in a couple of days after you have had some time to recover a bit more from your ordeal."

"Yes, sir," Harry replied gratefully. He knew that if Snape went with him, people would be sure to leave him alone.

With a nod to Alexis, Snape rose and made his way to the door. Alexis tucked the covers around Harry's shoulders, much to his embarrassment, and followed Snape's lead.

As Harry began to settle back in his bed and close his eyes Snape said, "Oh and Harry? I would expect, based on recent events that you have learned to take warnings for the sake of your safety more seriously?"

"Yes, sir." Harry mumbled. "And thank you."

"Hm," was Snape's only response before shutting the door.


	17. Forenoon Musings

**Chapter 17 - Forenoon Musings**

Ginny woke up and was at first very unaware of where she was. She looked around the unfamiliar darkened room and saw the sleeping figure of her best friend, Hermione, and was reminded of the daunting task facing them today.

Ever since Hermione had disclosed the shocking news of her adoption, she had been pressuring Ginny to help her start her search for who her real parents were. Ginny had tried talking Hermione out of it, saying that the people who raised her and took care of her for her whole life were her parents despite not being blood relatives, and while Hermione agreed, she still was insistent on knowing the identity of the people who had given her up.

Ginny tried to understand her determination, but could not even begin to fathom the roller coaster of emotions and thoughts that her friend has been struggling with since her discovery. While she herself, had so many times, wished for a different less chaotic family at the times when life at the Burrow had seemed to difficult for her, she never truly meant it. She could not ever imagine anyone else as her parents, nor would she ever want to.

She supposed she could understand, however, Hermione's need to know more about the circumstances of her adoption, but wasn't sure that it was a good idea for her to find out the truth. It was obvious that there was someone from the wizarding world involved since there had been a powerful memory spell placed on both of her parents. Did this mean that perhaps Hermione was not a muggle-born as she had been led to believe for her whole life? Of course Hermione insisted that this didn't matter to her at all, but Ginny could not help but feel angry that perhaps her friend had been subjected to such horrible prejudices and hatred unnecessarily.

Why the need for such secrecy about the whole adoption anyway? Although Ginny was not overly familiar to the adoption processes either in the wizarding world or the muggle world, she was certain that there were procedures in place that would conceal the identity of the birth parents from the adoptive parents or child if desired. She did not want to believe that the Ministry would have processes in place that would advocate the use of memory spells on unsuspecting muggles for such a trivial thing like an adoption. Which would likely mean that the Ministry might not have sanctioned this adoption.

Ginny had, of course tried to discuss all of this with Hermione, but she felt that her concerns only solidified Hermione's determination to uncover the truth about it all. Which was brought her to this muggle bedroom, wide awake before the sun rise, awaiting to embark on a potentially disappointing detective mission that would take them to the Ministry and unknown muggle agencies.

Despite her misgivings about this whole investigative mission, Ginny had immediately agreed to accompany Hermione as soon as she had asked her. She knew that her friend was trying very hard to try to deal with everything in a rational way without being overly emotional, but it was clear to Ginny that she wasn't being as successful as she pretended to be.

Besides, her being here to support Hermione was a great way for her to take her mind off of her own emotional issues regarding Harry. After spending the afternoon with him at Prewett Manor, she had been allowing herself to hope that things between them could actually pick back up to where it had been before he had dropped out of Hogwarts to save the world. Of course they hadn't really talked about anything too significant while they were together, but she had expected to have heard from him by now.

She really was trying to be understanding about what he was dealing with, but it was very difficult when he wouldn't even trust her enough to be able to confide in her what it was that he was feeling. And it wasn't like he was the only one that was struggling to deal with the horrible things that have happened.

Things at the Burrow had undergone such drastic changes since Fred's death that Ginny felt as though it was a completely different place. Her mother, who always had been able to stay on top of the duties of running a household, was now reduced to sitting in her rocking chair for hours on end doing nothing but staring at the family clock that now had one less hand on it since Fred's death. Her mother had been outraged when she had discovered the missing hand, but it was quickly discovered that it must have been the magic of the clock that had eliminated Fred's hand upon his death.

Her father and Percy both had been working so many extra duties at the ministry trying to get things cleaned up was rarely home except to eat and sleep. Bill and Fleur had returned to Shell Cottage and Charlie was busy trying to help repair Gringott's. Ron spent nearly all of his time either following Hermione around, writing to Hermione or daydreaming about Hermione.

Then there was George…oh poor George. George had taken to locking himself inside of the room that he used to share with Fred. He only ever left his room for meals and several times when Angelina Johnson came to visit. Ginny had tried to ask him about the shop and when he wanted to re-open and had even offered to help him get things back off the ground. Unfortunately he vehemently refused to even discuss the joke shop and even said that he could never go back there without Fred. Not knowing how to respond or help her brother she was careful to not bring up the subject again.

With all of these disturbances at the Burrow, Ginny had been feeling as though she needed to step up and take up the slack around the house. So she had been cleaning the house, preparing meals, greeting the still continuous flow of well-wishers and even was the one to greet Minister Shacklebolt when he had come to the Burrow for a visit.

Kingsley had immediately seen through her attempt at deception when he asked how things had been going. He had told her that he could see how tired she was and assured her that things were going to get better. He had said that he could see how stressed her father was and he had wanted to stop by and offer any help or support in any way that they needed. Not wanting to admit how bad things had gotten for them; she had lied to him and had told him that everything was going perfectly well. As he had left to return back to the ministry he had told her that she didn't need to feel like she had to take the weight of the world by herself anymore and tried to make sure that she knew that she could always ask for help whenever she needed. The kind words and the prospect of having someone to share her worries and troubles with had almost been enough to tempt her to confide in him, until her father had made an unexpected appearance home from the Ministry and Ginny had lost her chance.

All of this was probably one of the biggest reasons that she had agreed to help Hermione on her fact-finding quest. It felt good to be getting out of her house and away from her own problems was rather refreshing even if the task that they were undertaking could very well be an impossible one.

"Kinda early for you to be awake isn't it," said a sleepy voice that interrupted her thoughts.

Ginny smiled. Her friend knew her well. She hadn't ever been an early riser. Actually she had often needed extra prodding and coaxing to get her out of bed in the mornings in the days before the war.

"I guess I just have become accustomed to waking up earlier since everything that has happened," she replied.

She knew that she was only being half honest with her friend, but she didn't see a need to admit that she had been having troubles sleeping at all since the beginning of the school year last year. She had really been hoping that once things calmed down that her sleep would resume to what it had previously been, but thus far it had only seemed to have gotten worse.

"I was thinking that we should start the day out today at St Mungo's," Hermione mused. "If my birth parents were magical, then there should be some record of it at the hospital."

"Maybe," Ginny began. "If things were done as they should be, there should have been a birth record started for you at the hospital and added to the registry at the ministry. However, I have been thinking…It doesn't seem likely that the ministry would be acceptable to the use of a memory charm on a muggle for something a menial as an adoption. Do you think maybe that it was done at a muggle agency?"

Hermione nodded. "I was thinking that as well. But then why the need for the memory charm? Muggle agencies have procedures in place that would conceal the identity of the birth parents."

"You realize that it is entirely possible that we do not find anything anywhere," Ginny said timidly. "It is obvious that someone did not want the specifics of your birth. If things were done outside the scope of official agencies, either muggle or wizard, there may be nothing for us to find."

"I know," Hermione said sadly. "I have thought the same thing myself. I have told myself, though, that I can't let that possibility stop me from looking. I know you don't understand, but if I don't at least try to find out the truth I will always wonder."

"I do understand," replied Ginny with relief. "And I am more than happy to help however I can. Maybe we can even ask my dad where we can start looking at the ministry. I know he would know and we can count on him to be more discreet than anyone else."

"That sounds perfect," Hermione agreed. "Let's go down and get some breakfast and then we can get going."

Ginny brightened. "Can we use the microwave to make breakfast? I never really understood it when we discussed it in Muggle Studies and would love a demonstration of it."

"I'm sure we can find something to make in the microwave," Hermione said with a laugh as she led the way out of her bedroom.

* * *

Severus relaxed into his worn armchair and tried to focus on the lesson plans that he had been given by Shacklebolt the previous day. He needed to find a way to break things up between the professors that had volunteered to help with the additional auror classes. Luckily for him most of the things on the curriculum were things already well in-line with the subjects already taught at the school.

The concealment and disguise material easily fell under Professor McGonagall's transfiguration area of expertise and Professor Slughorn could more than handle the potions and antidote requirements. There was only a few limited of information needed in the Herbology and Magical Creatures departments and he himself could more than handle tracking, defense and curse breaking. The areas that he was having the most amount of difficulties with was the legal studies, basic life saving courses and the physical conditioning. Perhaps he could ask Alexis if she would mind the healing spells, but who in the world would he be able to find that would be stupid enough to take on the ministry laws & regulation topics?

Huffing in frustration, he dropped the papers on the floor next to his chair as he stood and began pacing. There was too much on his mind for him to be doing any serious thinking. With the exception of the few hours when he had passed out in a chair at Prewett Manor, he hadn't slept at all in the past two days.

The night that him and Alexis had brought Harry back from Grimmauld Place he been too keyed up from the excitement of the night to sleep. At least that is what he had been telling himself. That it was nothing more than the left over adrenaline from the dangers of the night and nothing to do with worry or concern about the boy that he had felt compelled to check on every couple of hours or so. When he had finally been able to relax and close his eyes he was haunted by the image of Harry curled up on the dirty floor writhing in pain. In this dream version of the events, Lily was standing over her troubled son looking helpless and distraught. When Severus entered the room she turned her attentions to him, displaying the anger and disappointment she felt towards the man who had promised to keep her son from such harm.

When Severus woke, there was such an ache in his chest that he rushed immediately into Harry's room to make sure that all was still well. He tried to reason and assure himself that there had been no way that he was responsible for what had happened and that it had just been Harry behaving like some typical Gryffindor hero wannabe. Until, of course, when Harry woke and explained about how he had been overwhelmed by the crowd at the ministry, confirming the fears that he had originally dismissed when Alexis had expressed them. How was he supposed to have known that things were as bad as they were? He had assumed that the ministry of all places would have been filled with more rational and mature wizards that would be able to leave an already troubled and exhausted boy alone to go about his business.

No, there was no rationalizing his ignorance. Alexis had warned him that things were not well, and he had chosen to ignore her warnings. If anything more serious had happened to Harry he knew that it would have been largely on his own conscience. As much as this angered him to have been guiltied, first by Lily and then by Alexis, into taking responsibility for this boy, he had to admit, if only to himself, that there really was no one more capable or qualified to adequately keep the boy safe until he was better equipped to stand alone on his own two feet. Perhaps, he promised himself, he might even have a few chances along the way to discreetly slap some common sense and self-preservation into the kid's head as well.


	18. Compassionate Safeguards

**Chapter 18 - Compassionate Safeguards**

Wearing his running pants and trainers, Harry sleepily made his way down to the kitchen for some breakfast before getting his day underway. He would be meeting his fellow auror trainees at the newly repaired Quidditch field at Hogwarts to begin what Snape had described as physical conditioning. Harry wasn't entirely sure what that meant, but hoped that it would include learning ways to physical fight back and defend yourself.

Ever since the incident at the ministry, which had resulted in his entrapment at Grimmauld Place, Harry had been feeling vulnerable and weak. He felt foolish that he had been overwhelmed so easily and wanted to desperately get himself into a position where he would be able to get out of such situations in the future. He had been assured, by Snape, that by the time his auror training would be over he would easily be able to know how to not only react in similar situations that may arise, but also how to better avoid them all together.

Throughout the past month Snape had been a regular visitor at the Prewett Manor. For the first couple of days following Harry's rescue, Snape had all but lived at the Manor. He had taken over one of the rooms down the hall, but Harry had seen very little of him during this time. Once in the middle of the night Harry had woken up and had thought that he had seen Snape pacing back & forth in front of the window in his room, but he knew that he must have just been dreaming.

A week after Harry's incident Snape had come to Prewett Manor to escort him to the ministry to get his auror paperwork and security clearance paperwork finished. Harry, naturally, had been incredibly nervous about the excursion and had barely slept the night before. He had tried assuring himself that nothing would happen to him with Snape with him, but these thoughts only brought new ones that involved Snape sneering at him and taunting him.

By the time that Snape had arrived in the morning and had joined Harry & Alexis for breakfast, Harry had been a complete nervous wreck. So much so that he didn't notice that unspoken conversation that had taken place between Alexis & Snape. He did, however, recognize the effects of the mood stabilizing charm that had been silently cast over him and had been immediately grateful with a touch of embarrassment. But he dismissed that embarrassment quickly by reminding himself that Alexis was only trying to help.

When Harry had arrived at the Ministry via side-along apparition, the anxiety returned almost immediately before even getting his bearings. His presence was loudly announced by an overly excited, plump witch that shouted "Harry Potter is here!" as she rushed to try to shake his hand. Before Harry could even register what it was that was happening however, Snape had stepped in front of Harry blocking the witch access to him as he glared down at the woman menacingly. Having been, often times in the past, on the receiving end of those glares, Harry almost felt sorry for the woman as she backed away, apologized and hurried on her own way.

It did not take long to realize just how intimidating his escort truly was as they walked through the halls of the ministry to their various destinations. The whispering and staring was still present, but there were only a few brave souls that had attempted to approach Harry. There was a bit of a tense moment as they loaded onto a crowded lift, that the panic began to set in for Harry as several questions and words of thankful appreciation were thrown his way. The surprising feel of the firm hand being placed on his shoulder immediately squelched his rising anxiety before he had barely had time to register his fears. While Snape didn't let his hand linger long on his shoulder he was grateful to know that he was there. He even found that he was able to politely thank everyone for the kind words as he exited the elevator and endure the rest of the day remarkably well.

Several days later Snape had resumed his role as chaperone/bodyguard as Harry and the trainees met up at St Mungo's for their physicals and medical clearance processes. Despite being of age in the wizarding world, Ron, Neville, Seamus and Dean had all been accompanied by a parental figure or a guardian, which had immediately made Harry astutely aware of how alone he truly was.

As each of his friends were called to go back into a room with a healer, Harry's anxiety increased. He tried to calm his fears by assuring himself that there was nothing that he could be asked that he could not answer or clarify himself, but his anxiety only increased.

By the time his name had been called to go back into an examination room, Harry's heart was pounding so fast that he had been certain that it was going to just explode inside his chest. His vision had begun to narrow and black dots appeared before his eyes as he stood to follow the assistant to his room.

As walked into the examination room practicing the deep breathing techniques that Alexis had shown him he realized that Snape had followed him into the room. The relief washed over him like a warm blanket as he heard the assistant address his former teacher.

"Excuse me, sir, but I'm afraid I am going to have to ask you to wait in the waiting room until Healer Gorgison is finished with Mr. Potter."

"I am here to serve as a guardian figure for Mr. Potter in the obvious absence of any other eligible candidates," Snape had replied coolly.

The assistant turned and had addressed Harry skeptically and had asked him if this was correct. Despite Harry's repeated reassurances the assistant still seemed unsure, but had wisely refrained from voicing further objections.

Once the healer had come into the room and had begun his questioning, Harry was immensely relieved to have Snape with him. This physical was nothing like any of the few muggle ones that he had gone through previously in his life and had found himself unable to answer many of the questions that he had been asked.

Growing up in a muggle family he soon learned that there had been a whole plethora of wizarding diseases and conditions that he had never heard of or encountered that was typical in most wizarding children. The healer had tried convincing Harry that he needed to be inoculated against these childhood diseases, but Snape had been able to convince him against such actions. While Harry had been unsure what inoculation against these diseases would have involved he was glad that someone had been there to intervene on his behalf.

The medi-wizard took twice as long with Harry as had been done with the rest of the trainees, which Harry had mused had been because he had wanted a full explanation and description of the events that had resulted in every scrap, bruise or scar that he had on his body. Several times Harry could have sworn he had heard a low growl coming from the corner of the room that Snape was standing in, but he had convinced himself that he imagined it. When the healer had reached the most identifying scar on his forehead, Snape finally spoke up questioning the validity of the questions. With a gulp and an apology the healer cleared Harry for entrance into the auror program and dismissed him back to the waiting area.

Much to his surprise, Snape had sent Harry along ahead claiming that he needed to have a word with the healer and that he would not be far behind him. As Harry had left the room, the audible gulp from the healer made him fight back a giggle. True to his word it was only a couple minutes before Snape joined the group and they all retreated to Prewett Manor for another enjoyable dinner party.

Harry hadn't been sure how much longer after all of his friends had left that Snape had stayed that night, but after that night he became a regular guest for dinners and sometimes even for lunch. It had been following one of these lunches that a surprise visitor from the ministry came to the manor.

Unbeknownst to Harry, Snape had arranged to have someone come to the house to administer his apparition test. Since Harry had been on the run since his seventeenth birthday he hadn't had the chance to take his test like his fellow classmates. Honestly he had almost forgotten about needing to take the test since he had already apparated so much in the past year, but he was grateful that Snape had arrange for the testing session.

Harry quickly finished his breakfast and hurried out onto the lawn in order to avoid being late for his first day of physical conditioning. That was the LAST thing that he wanted to especially after everything that Snape had down for him in the past few weeks. For the first time in his life he actually felt like there were people looking out for him and concerned about what happened to him and he did not want to let either Snape or Alexis down in anyway.

Smiling to himself he realized how foreign these kind of thoughts were to him. He had become more than accustomed to fumbling through life on his own, that it was a completely foreign idea to him that anyone else would be stepping in to share the load with him. The fact that Snape was one of those people looking out for him, had at first seemed to be some kind of cruel joke. It had taken him some time to feel as though he could actually let his guard down and trust that he wasn't the evil git that he had once assumed him to be for so long. Since the Grimmauld Place incident, however, Snape's presence had become crucial for Harry to feel safe and secure both at the house and out in public.

With a quiet chuckle and a shake of his head Harry turned on the spot and disappeared with a pop.

* * *

Alexis sighed and slammed her papers down on her desk. When Severus had asked her to teach the auror candidates basic living saving spells, she never in a million years could have guessed that it would be so complicated. She had spent years studying and working in a variety of wizarding and muggle hospitals and she was still learning new spells and procedures. So how was she supposed to "dummy down" everything she had learned and try to determine what was considered essential?

She mentally reminded herself to have a stern word or two with Severus the next time she saw him, and then made her way into the library. She wasn't sure what potions were kept in stock at the infirmary at Hogwart's, but she wanted get started brewing some of the more time consuming ones to have on hand before term started.

As she searched the shelves for the books she needed she found herself unable to concentrate. So much had changed in the past several weeks leaving her feeling like she was running a race and is unable to catch up to the leaders. She felt lost and confused, but surprisingly happier than she had felt in a very long time.

Since they had rescued Harry from Grimmauld Place, Alexis felt as though something had changed between her and Severus, although she was quite unable to pinpoint exactly what it was. She supposed that it could just be the way that he acted. He was more social and talkative, although still seemed a bit reserved when it came to anything relating to his past. She also had realized that he smiled more. She had even witnessed him laughing on an occasion or two.

The biggest difference that she had seen in Severus, was simply that he seemed more relaxed. Even when he was around Harry he seemed to be less judgmental and harsh, although he still seemed to be somewhat wary of the things he said or did around him. At least he had stopped referring to him as "Potter" or worse "The Boy". He appeared to spend a lot of time observing him almost like he was trying to figure him out or understand him.

Regardless of what it was that had prompted this change in Severus's behavior, she had decided that she liked it. As much as she hadn't wanted to admit it she had become lonely. Living in this house seemed to serve as an unwelcome reminder of the life that she had been excluded from as a child and made her miss the only people that she had ever known as parents.

Ever since returning from The States, Alexis's guilt from her abandonment of her adopted parents had been weighing on her with increasing intensity. Her dreams were plagued with the memories of her mother pleading with her to stay. After he father had died her mother had tried again to convince Alexis to move back, but by that point she had already been well established at the wizarding hospital in New York. At least that is what she had told herself at the time.

Her father's death was during the height of the first wizarding war and Alexis was scared. She had heard stories from across the pond about how horrible things had gotten, but it wasn't until she had returned for her father's funeral that she realized how bad things had been. Dumbledore had tried then to convince her to stay and help out at St Mungo's but she had refused him claiming that she was needed elsewhere.

Thinking back now, she could admit, if only to herself, that her reluctance to stay had very little to do with her job in The States. She had just not been able to allow herself to care what was going on over here. The society that she had been rejected from and treated so horribly by as a young witch both in and out of school, was being torn apart and terrorized by some of the same people that had contributed to the humiliations she had faced. This had only proven to her at the time that she had been right to leave.

Even now, she wished that she could feel some sort of sympathy or shame from her abandonment of her fellow witches and wizards, but she could conjure up anything but relief and even a sense of justification that supported her decision to leave. Sure she could bring herself to care about people like Harry, whose parents sacrificed their lives to bring an end to the violence, but that was about the extent of her concerns for the matter.

Her only hope presently was that she would be able to use her new position at Hogwart's as a chance to help spot those individuals that demonstrated similarly destructive and cruel behaviors towards their fellow classmates and be able to put a stop to them before someone else's life was damaged as hers had been. She knew that her position as the medi-witch would not allow her as much exposure to the students as she would like, but she was fairly certain that she would be able to have at least a moderate effect based on the various admissions of hexed or harassed students to the hospital wing.

While she wasn't feeling one-hundred percent confident that she could actually have any significant impact on how the students at Hogwarts were treated by their classmates, she found herself clinging desperately to that idea that she could do something to chance things.

As the time for the re-opening of the school and the upcoming semester drew ever nearer, Alexis knew that her hope, however small it may be, of being able to help even one student from avoiding what she had gone through, was the only thing preventing her from running away back to the safety and anonymity of her previous life in The States.


End file.
